What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out?

What Happens When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out? what happens when the narcissist knows you’ve figured them out?
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Dealing with a narcissist is challenging because they constantly seek control and become threatened when things don’t go their way. When a narcissist realizes that you’ve figured them out, they won’t take it lightly.

Their reactions will depend on their motives, and they will sense you’re onto them when you start showing indifference to their manipulations or saying no to their demands. Additionally, they may recognize your awareness when they realize you’ve been studying toxic relationships. In this article, I will discuss nine possible outcomes once a narcissist knows you’ve figured them out.

1. Intensified Manipulation

Once a narcissist knows you’ve seen through their mask, they may intensify their manipulation tactics. They might gaslight you, making you doubt your own perceptions of reality. They’ll play with your emotions, intimidating you or exploiting your fears and insecurities. For instance, they may claim you’ll end up alone or won’t find someone else.

2. Intensified Smear Campaign

A narcissist may spread more rumors about you to ruin your reputation. They’ll lie and fabricate stories, portraying you as the monster in the relationship and distorting the truth about their actions. This character assassination aims to isolate you from your support network, making you more dependent on them.

3. Playing the Victim

To deflect accountability, narcissists may play the victim and blame their past or childhood for their behavior. They seek your sympathy and hope that you’ll overlook their manipulation and deceit when you hear about their difficult past.


4. Intensified Triangulation

Narcissists may introduce a third party into the relationship to make you feel jealous or inadequate. This is their way of showing that they have other options, even if you’ve exposed them. They may also intensify their search for a new relationship in case you cut off their supply.

5. Leveling

In an attempt to bring you down, narcissists may try to level the playing field. They’ll highlight instances where you’ve acted undesirably so that they can label you as a toxic person as well. This tactic can make you believe that you’re both toxic and you will even normalize their abusive behavior.

6. Love Bombing

Narcissists may try to win you back by showering you with affectionate words or mirroring your desires. They may promise to change their behavior and fulfill the things they previously failed to deliver. Their goal is to regain your trust and forgiveness.

7. Ghosting and Silent Treatment

When a narcissist realizes you’ve figured them out, they may go silent on you. They use silence as a tool to make you feel guilty and bad about your actions. They may also disappear without warning or communication, leaving you confused and uncertain about the status of the relationship.

8. Blackmailing

In retaliation, a narcissist may resort to spiteful and vengeful actions. They might clean out your bank account, damage your possessions, expose your personal secrets or intimate images, or even alienate you from your children. Their aim is to ruin your reputation and livelihood.

9. Discard

When the narcissist know you’ve really figured them out and there’s nothing more they can do, they can discard you and leave the relationship. They may decide that you’re not worth their time and they’d rather be in out the relationship.


The best thing to do when you’ve figured them out is not to confront them; instead, prioritize your own safety. Confronting them may lead to more harm, as they could become vengeful or even violent when their mask is threatened. It’s important to tread carefully when dealing with someone who has relied on a facade for most of their life.

Your knowledge about them and their manipulative ways is not meant for them; it’s for you to understand your situation and realize that you deserve better. It may be painful to acknowledge, but it’s also an opportunity for you to recognize that your relationship was merely an illusion and the person you loved never truly existed. This realization empowers you to move towards a life of healing and cultivate healthy connections.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts, experiences and research😊.


1. https://www.wengood.com/en/psychology/stress/art-figure-out-narcissist

2. https://www.marriage.com/advice/mental-health/when-the-narcissist-knows-you-have-figured-him-out/

3. https://kimsaeed.com/2020/01/19/10-things-to-expect-when-a-narcissist-knows-youre-onto-them/

4. https://www.pumpitupmagazine.com/9-things-to-expect-when-the-narcissist-knows-you-have-figured-them-out/

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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