9 Things a Narcissist Can’t Stand

9 Things a Narcissist Can’t Stand 9 things a narcissist can’t stand
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They need you (your emotions, your reactions) and there’re things which they don’t really like. They’ve probably left a dent in your life and the question you will find yourself asking is in the lines of making the narcissist miserable.

Though, focusing on making the narcissist miserable is not the best thing for your healing journey, understanding what they hate will be an eye-opener on how you can be immune to their threats or on how you can starve them so that they can stop bothering you.

It also helps you to understand the areas in your life, you need to focus on so that you can be narc-proof and not easily fall prey for their games of deceit.

So, what are some of the things a narcissist can’t stand?

1. Lack of Enough Supply

A narcissist ‘thrives’ where their needs are being met. But when you cut off their supply, they can’t stand it. That’s the point where you’re not giving them what they want. You’re not reacting and falling for their provocations.

You’re not giving them the attention and admiration they want, you’re more like a stone and you don’t serve their needs.

They really don’t like that and they will abandon the scene to find another source of supply or they will pull out extra cards from their manipulative arsenal. They need the sense of approval and acknowledgement to feed their fragile ego and to feel special.

2. Being told No

The one thing that a narcissist despises the most is being told “no” and actually having it followed through.

Narcissists are used to using manipulation and other insidious techniques to obtain what they want, often at the expense of someone else’s feelings. They may react with rage when faced with a strong “No” because they are not accustomed to being rejected.

They struggle to understand why someone can just refuse their approaches and their lack of empathy stops them from comprehending other person’s perspective.

Even if they attempt to understand, they may refuse to accept the reality of the situation. If you are able to have that unshakeable “No” then they can’t really stand you.

3. Authority

The other tings narcs can’t stand is being pushed to answer to authority or being in a position where they have to answer to someone else. They want to be the top of the hierarchy because being below the hierarchy threatens their desire for power and control.


They don’t like being answerable to anyone or to see that someone else is more special, talented or just knowledgeable than them. They can be hard to work with and are unruly and unreasonable when given basic instructions.

They may even go to the extent of ruining the credibility of that authority figure just so as to be seen as the special one.

4. Confronted with the Facts

Narcs don’t like facing the reality and being confronted with cold facts. This is because their egoistic selves cannot admit weakness or failures as it goes against their belief of maintaining a positive self-image at all times.

When you confront them with say receipts or screenshots, they will deflect them and when there’s no other option, they’ll look for an exit from the situation. They just can’t stand factual information which they are less likely to dispute.

They prefer to belittle others and prove them wrong. When you provide them with cold facts, you’ve deprived them the opportunity to undermine others and they have a hard time disproving the information presented to them.

5. Sticking to your Boundaries

When you maintain your boundaries, it will make it very difficult for the narc to manipulate you and use you as they wish. In fact, this is the ultimate in your healing journey, get to the point where you can set and uphold your boundaries even when the narcissist has pushed you to the corner.

They will keep trying to manipulate and provoke you so that you can lower your boundaries.

When you’re able to assert your boundaries and be firm on them, they will be angered and frustrated because they cannot get what they want from you.

6. Being Ignored

A narcissist will get a heavy blow to their fragile ego when they are ignored. Once you have done the inner healing, you become resistant to emotional triggers, they will not have something in you to use against you. The buttons they used to press in the past when they sought to manipulate you have just been neutralized.

By healing what made you susceptible to their games of deceits, you’ve automatically ignored the narcissist. By emotionally detaching and showing no emotional reaction to their games, the narc will feel they’ve lost their power over you.

They can’t stand being ignored especially by someone who they had in their grasp. They hate the fact that their techniques no longer work on you and you’re not even responsive to them.

7. You Thriving

Nothing is more insulting to your narcissistic ex than you moving on, rebuilding your life, healing and achieving greater success and happiness than you ever had before.

When they discard you, they expect that you to struggle or to see that you can’t really survive without them. They want you to go crawling back to them or go beg for forgiveness or just want them back.

But when you move on and thrive, it’s a dagger because to them they perceive that you’re ahead of them, you’ve surpassed them which makes them look insignificant.

They cannot bear the thought of anyone in their circle succeeding or surpassing them and they’ll just find a way to talk ill about those who are so much ahead of them.

8. Being Held Accountable

Narcissists tend to avoid accountability because it challenges their sense of superiority and self-importance.

They believe that they are above reproach and will often be unwilling to take responsibility for their actions. They really don’t like it when they’re held accountable for their behavior and they will of course find a way to deflect, deny or blame others.

When you question them for what they did, they will just find an alibi because they can’t stand taking full responsibility of their lives.

They don’t want to admit their faults or to be seen as failures or as people who can make mistakes. When they’re been totally cornered, they may throw in a fake apology or a stringed apology but they will not fully be accountable for their actions.

9. You Refusing to Be Hoovered

When you recognize your value and get to the point where you don’t want to be an option to the narcissist, they will not like it.

When they’ve discarded you or you’ve left the relationship, the narcissist will of course try to win you back.

When those charms no longer work on you because you know you deserve better than someone who just uses you to meet their needs, then they will be offended. They will feel that they’ve lost a pawn in their game and they will not take it lightly.

They will of course try harder to win you back but if you stand tall and refuse all their pleas to hoover you back or win you back, then you’ve made them miserable.


Your narcissistic ex cannot stand a healed you because a healed you knows that they are worthy of a healthy kind of love. The key ingredient to making a narcissist miserable is you working on yourself and dealing with those unhealed wounds which make you doubt your own worth.

The other thing is if you try to make them miserable or chase those revenge fantasies when you’ve not healed, you will just be piling more and more pain.

This is because you will be operating life from your tainted emotions and not from your authentic self. You may also find yourself in this loop where you’re comparing yourself or your actions with those of someone who deeply lacks empathy.

You will be playing in their field but when you heal, you will be playing in a field of abundance and peace.

You will understand that the energy you’re expending focusing on them or even reading about them is just a drain when all you should be doing is focusing on rebuilding that life you completely deserve.

When you completely focus on you, you’re already far much ahead in your healing even when you don’t feel like you’re making progress or the pain is easing. When you just focus on you, you will progress and when you focus on them you will regress.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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