Why Does a Narcissist Say They Love You?

Why Does a Narcissist Say They Love You? why does a narcissist say they love you?
Photo by Rishabh Dharmani on Unsplash

What does it really mean when a narcissist or an abuser says, “I love you”? That phrase carries a lot of weight and can be confusing. Even if your partner mistreats you, when they say “I love you,” you may forget about all the bad things. But what does it truly mean?

Instead of focusing on their words, pay attention to their actions. Sometimes, people say “I love you” many times, but their actions tell a different story. On the other hand, someone may not say those words directly but show their love through their actions. You can understand their love by observing how they behave.

Manipulative people know that declaring their love can weaken your defenses. They may say “I love you” while continuing to mistreat you, and they understand that you will fulfill their needs and let down your boundaries. They might expect you to give them things like sex or money or welcome them back into your life. This way, they regain control over you.

When an abuser claims to love you, don’t focus only on their words. Look at their behavior. If they continue lying and mistreating you, take a moment to reflect on yourself. Ask, “Do I truly love myself?” Instead of analyzing the abuser’s words, think about your own feelings. Why do you let yourself fall for their deception? The answer lies in self-love.

Their words are merely tools they use to manipulate you. They want to benefit from you, seek validation, or enhance their reputation. It’s all about using you. So, even if the abuser says “I love you” over and over, don’t let their words blind you.


Whether someone is abusive or not, don’t let their words affect your judgment. Look at their actions to understand the truth. By focusing on their actions, you’ll be less vulnerable to empty words, such as expressions of admiration, affection, or meaningless long poems. Instead, pay attention to how they treat you, respect you, and make you feel when you’re together.


So, it doesn’t matter if an abuser claims to love you. Shift your attention to the numerous times they betrayed you. Realize that you deserve better. The key to finding a better future is loving yourself and finding the strength to leave such a situation. Prioritize self-love before considering loving someone else.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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