Where Do Narcissist Get The Energy To Hurt

Where Do Narcissist Get The Energy To Hurt where do narcissist get the energy to hurt
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Have you ever found yourself wondering, perhaps after dealing with a narcissist either in your workplace, in your family, or in your relationships, where on earth do they get the energy to go to great lengths to mistreat or harm others? They may have subjected you to various gaslighting techniques, manipulative tactics, and relentless psychological games characteristic of narcissistic behavior. Where do they draw this energy from, and what drives them to persist in their destructive patterns?

The truth is, the wellspring of a narcissist’s energy is not rooted in genuine inner strength or resilience, as one might initially assume. Rather, it emanates from a deep-seated insecurity and a profound lack of self-worth. This energy is fueled by unresolved emotional wounds and an unyielding desire to protect the fragile facade of their ego.

Narcissists possess an unwavering commitment to maintaining their carefully crafted self-image, constructed to shield them from the discomfort of confronting their own vulnerabilities. Any perceived challenge to this constructed identity is met with great resistance, as they strive to preserve the illusion of superiority and invulnerability.

Their energy, therefore, is channeled into a relentless pursuit of external validation and control. They engage in manipulative behaviors, gaslighting, and other toxic tactics as a means of deflecting attention away from their own insecurities and shortcomings. By projecting an air of confidence and authority, they seek to bolster their fragile sense of self and maintain their perceived status quo. They avoid introspection and genuine self-reflection, instead opting to invest their energy in superficial distractions and external validation.

Much like a people pleaser who derives their energy from the validation they receive through catering to others’ needs, narcissists rely on external reinforcement to sustain their fragile self-image. The energy they expend is not directed towards personal growth or self-improvement but rather towards the preservation of their inflated ego and the avoidance of confronting their inner turmoil.


In essence, the energy that fuels narcissistic behavior is a defense mechanism — a shield erected to protect them from the discomfort of facing their own inner demons. It manifests itself in the form of manipulation, gaslighting, and other toxic behaviors, serving as a barrier to genuine self-awareness and emotional healing.

So, the next time you find yourself perplexed by the seemingly boundless energy of a narcissist, remember that it is not a reflection of inner strength or resilience but rather a symptom of deep-seated insecurity and a relentless pursuit of self-preservation at any cost. That’s why they can’t just leave you alone; they may keep pushing and pushing until you either crack, until they feel they cannot get to you, or until they find someone else to toy with. This behavior serves as a shield, protecting them from the discomfort of facing their inner emptiness.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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