No Contact Rule: How to Master No Contact

No Contact Rule: How to Master No Contact no contact rule: how to master no contact

If you want to move on from any relationship or after a heartbreak, going No Contact is the best way to go. As I stated in a previous article, No Contact is powerful as it provides you with the space and time to heal, as well as giving you the space to think rationally.

No contact means not contacting your Ex, which includes no phone calls, no text messages, no ‘accidentally’ bumping into them, no stalking, no visiting them, no contacting their friends/family to ask about them, and no reminiscing on mementos and your old photos together.

No Contact is a foundational step to healing, but it is also one of the hardest, as it involves cutting off communication with someone you had feelings for (or still have) and someone you used to communicate with on a daily/frequent basis. In this article, I am going to outline some of the ways you can take today to help you get through no contact.

  1. Track your No Contact Days — Make it a Habit:

One of the first things to do that will help make your no contact successful is tracking the number of days you’ve gone no contact. As we know, we are all creatures of habit, and the more we do something, the more it will stick. Research has shown that the best way to make a habit stick is to do it for 30 consecutive days. What you can do is take a calendar or a diary and start writing down & counting the number of days you’ve gone no contact.

To make it even better, you can draw a continuous straight line in your calendar/diary while crossing out the days you’ve gone No Contact and then commit to not breaking the line. You can also get a habit tracking app, whichever you feel comfortable with, but just do it one day at a time. If you cut off all communication with an Ex for 30 days, you will have the time needed to recover and move on with life. Another aspect of this is to come up with a reward system for yourself once you achieve the ‘No Contact’ milestone.

2. Find a breakup buddy:

Another way to successfully execute No contact is to find a trusted confidant who will keep you accountable during your No Contact phase. A breakup buddy will not only keep you accountable but also be that one person you can call just to remind you why you broke up or left that Toxic relationship.

An accountability partner is someone whom you trust, holds you answerable, and encourages you as you work towards your goals after a breakup. This is the kind of person who listens to you and offers emotional support to the point where you feel so inspired to finally move on.

It may not be easy to find a trusted confidant if the relationship was narcissistic because you may find yourself isolated from your loved ones. If you find yourself in this situation, find an online breakup buddy (someone who’s been in a similar situation) from a Facebook group or an online forum. A breakup buddy is just a reminder that you’re never alone in this journey and there are people who want the best for you.

3. Find a hobby to keep you engaged:

Going No Contact is not an easy thing to do as a breakup leaves you mentally and emotionally drained. That’s why picking up a hobby (an old, long-forgotten hobby or something totally new) to focus on after leaving the relationship can be a great and productive distraction.

Hobbies are things you enjoy, and the more you do them, the more you feel fulfilled with what life has to offer after the breakup. Some of the healthy hobbies you can engage in are gardening, taking a walk, playing a sport, exercising, listening to music or singing, yoga, journaling, painting, writing, or just anything that is pleasurable to you.

With a great hobby you enjoy, you will be so focused on it, and this will stop you from constantly ruminating over your Ex. A hobby may also bring about a certain feeling of accomplishment in what you’re doing.

4. Adopt a healthy routine and stick to it:

Another way to go through No Contact is by having a healthy routine, which involves scheduling all the activities you’re going to engage in throughout the day/week.

A routine will mean that you know what you have to do at a certain time (you know the time to wake up, go to work, eat, take a walk, sleep). Having this kind of routine will provide a structure of how you live your life and will lessen the anxiety of not knowing what to do.

We mostly break no contact when we find ourselves thinking about what to do, and having a routine will mean that you spend most of your time doing instead of thinking. You can structure your routine in such a way that you don’t have time to call them or stalk them on social media.

“We are what we repeatedly do.” — Aristotle.

5. Avoid places/situations where you might bump into them:

The last way is to avoid those places or situations where you certainly know that you will bump into them (like bars or restaurants you used to spend time together). This also involves avoiding some of your Ex’s friends or mutual friends because they will remind you of them or even become an indirect channel of communication between you and your Ex.

In the digital space, this may involve blocking them on social media or taking a digital detox so that you cannot stumble upon their posts on your feed. This will also prevent you from stalking them. It’s just about making it harder for you to communicate with them.


No contact is one of the hardest steps in every breakup or when someone leaves an abusive relationship, but its importance should never be understated. No Contact is the best time for you to heal, reinvent yourself, and work on your self-confidence, which may have been ruined by the relationship.

The ways I’ve outlined above are just some of the examples of what you can do to master the ‘No Contact’ Rule. What we also need to know is that ‘No Contact’ should not be the final step for you after a breakup; you also have to go inwards to rediscover your authentic self.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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