How to Practice Minimized Contact Method/Grey Rock Method

How to Practice Minimized Contact Method/Grey Rock Method how to practice minimized contact method/grey rock method

The best way to move on after leaving an abusive relationship is by going full No Contact. However, at times going full No Contact may not be possible due to various reasons, such as having kids together, working in the same place, or unavoidable circumstances that force you to communicate with your ex-partner.

In such situations, you can practice the modified No Contact Method or the grey rock method to deal with toxic ex-partners. The grey rock method involves becoming unresponsive when communicating with a toxic person, just like a rock.

How to Practice Grey Rock Method:

  1. Keep your conversations brief:

When you have to communicate with them, keep your conversations as brief as possible. Only pass the necessary message and avoid adding unnecessary details. Communicate as if you’re being charged for every word you use. Share less about your life with short responses and refrain from asking them about their lives. Keep the communication to the bare minimum to avoid triggering negative feelings or being hurt.

2. Communicate only when necessary:

Practice the grey-rock method by communicating with them only when it’s necessary for your peace. Limit communication to essential matters, such as coordinating pick-up and drop-off times for co-parenting or working on joint projects. Avoid adding extra communication, checking up on them, or sending them personal messages.

4. Avoid phone calls and embrace email communication:

Limit communication to email only and avoid phone calls or instant messaging. Let them send you detailed emails, and reply at your convenience. Treating the communication like official business will prevent them from using verbal jabs or abusive language. Email communication provides evidence and discipline as well, making it harder for them to manipulate you.

5. Do not tell them that you’re grey-rocking them:

Avoid informing the manipulative person that you’re employing the grey rock method. The main goal of this approach is to bore them so that they leave you alone. If they know you’re intentionally being boring, they might use it against you and try to regain control. Keep being boring and dull while maintaining your peace of mind.

6. Stay neutral and disengaged when communicating with them:

Practice the grey rock method by communicating without showing any emotion. Speak in a neutral tone, give dry responses even when provoked, avoid eye contact, and minimize facial expressions during the conversation. This prevents a manipulative person from getting the reaction they seek from you and shows that you’re disengaging and not interested in bonding with them.


Interacting with a toxic person can take a toll on your peace of mind, so it’s best to avoid them as much as possible. In cases where you have to communicate with them, the grey rock method can help you navigate those interactions. Remember that grey-rocking is a short-term solution; it is essential to work on yourself and heal so that toxic interactions have no impact on your well-being.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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