Is It Okay Not to Want to Date Anymore After Leaving in An Abusive Relationship?

Is It Okay Not to Want to Date Anymore After Leaving in An Abusive Relationship? is it okay not to want to date anymore after leaving in an abusive relationship?
Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash

Today I’ll be answering the question: Is it okay not to want to date anymore after leaving an abusive relationship? This is a very good question. Actually, there are two sides to this. It’s completely okay not to want to date again after abuse because you may genuinely feel that people are not to be trusted. People may betray you, you could get hurt, or end up in another toxic relationship, and it’s not worth it. You might just think of your past hurts and betrayal. From that perspective, it’s okay not to date, as long as it’s your own choice.

However, there’s an instance where you might say it’s okay but you’re only avoiding dealing with the painful aspects of being in that abusive relationship. In this case, you are choosing to be single, but deep inside, you are also choosing not to face the pain. It means you’re getting stuck with things from the past. If your choice is dictated by past betrayal, it implies you’re not moving on. It’s not a genuine choice because it’s determined by what happened in the past. When a choice is dictated by past betrayal, it means you don’t have much choice. You’re choosing to be single not because it’s a real choice but because you’re still living in the past, believing that people will betray you or hurt you.

This is not your authentic choice; it stems from past negative experiences, and that is not a choice at all. A good choice to be single or not is one that comes from your authentic self, the you beyond the pain. It’s the you that has processed the pain, let go of anger and resentment towards women or men, or a specific gender. If you are hateful towards a specific gender because of something they did to you, it means you’re not really free; you’re still carrying a lot of anger and resentment. Choosing to be single as an escape is not the same as choosing to be single as a genuine, fresh choice.

Deal with the issues from your past relationship, and then you’ll have a real choice. A choice where you can either be single or not, and you’re okay with both options. Don’t use “I will not date again” as an excuse or avoidance from dealing with the pain. If you choose to date, work on yourself and deal with the pain. Work on yourself to the point where you’re not hateful towards other human beings in relationships or those who are not. Be content with your choices from your authenticity, not rooted in the past but aspects of the present or what you genuinely want to do. It doesn’t matter whether you’re single or not, as long as you’re okay on a deeper level. When your choices are dictated by past fears, you’re limited in the scope of choice.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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