Can You Ever Trust Again After Being Abused?

Can You Ever Trust Again After Being Abused? can you ever trust again after being abused?
Photo by Cytonn Photography on Unsplash

If there’s one thing you will struggle with after leaving an abusive relationship is being able to trust again. Your trust was ruined when the person you trusted the most harmed you. They made you to trust them and then later on used that trust to betray you.

Without trust, your life will be full of looking over your shoulder and feeling that everyone is out there to hurt you. It’s where your mind feeds you with the common norms of, “Men/women are not to be trusted.” They’ve distorted your sense of reality and you’ll find it challenging to differentiate between what to trust and what not to trust. You just live life where you believe that for you to be safe, you’ve got to trust no one.

This is just a reaction that results from what happened to you in the past. In your past relationship, you opened up to them, shared all your secrets, weaknesses, vulnerabilities only for all to be used against you. They manipulated and gaslighted you to the point that you trusted them more than you even trusted yourself. You’ve lost trust in yourself and in others and you feel that you’ll never trust again.

So, the question is, “Can you ever trust again after being abused?”

Yes, you can trust but trust is not about the people who betrayed you, it’s about you connecting with yourself and trusting yourself completely. They shattered your trust in yourself and that is what you’ve got to rebuild. When you heal from the past pain, you are learning to trust yourself.

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Trust begins with self-trust which is you believing in yourself completely and deeply understanding that you’re safe within. It’s taking full responsibility of your life and knowing that you’re the only who holds the key to letting in healthy connections in your life.

You will not rebuild trust if you go on looking outside there for red flags or those other externalities but you can do it if you go in there address those fears and insecurities. The more you go in there, the more you’ll understand your boundaries and your own ability to uphold those boundaries. There’s no problem with being vulnerable, the problem is allowing those vulnerabilities to be used against your boundaries.

In conclusion, you’ve got to totally trust yourself for you to regain trust in others. You do this by moving beyond the feelings of self-betrayal. It’s about understanding that there are people out there who can use you to get to you but you’re just confident in who you are.

You’re confident in your ability to say no and keep your boundaries even if it ends up upsetting the other party. You just deeply know and trust yourself. You’re free to build relationships with other without feeling fearful that they may end up hurting you. You trust your intuitions, judgment and decisions and they work for you instead of against you.

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When you’re still carrying past pain with you, your lack of trust is anchored on the possibility of experiencing the same pain. But once you process that pain, you approach life from a fresh perspective and see the past as just lessons and signposts of what you need to work on deep within you. So, do not look for that ‘perfect’ partner so that you can trust again but instead look for a healed you and you will trust yourself.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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