4 Ways Toxic Relationships Change You

4 Ways Toxic Relationships Change You 4 ways toxic relationships change you
Photo by Tijs van Leur on Unsplash

The impacts of being in toxic relationships should not be underestimated, as they have the potential to significantly alter your individual’s life. The more someone stays in a toxic relationship, the more profound the impacts are likely to and that’s why it’s vital to leave those kinds of relationships as soon as possible.

Toxic relationships manifest in various ways, from controlling behaviors to emotional manipulation and various forms of abuse. The effects of being in a toxic relationship can last long after the relationship has ended. It leaves scars which if not addressed will have a huge effect on most of your life’s circumstances.

The severity of the toxic relationship also determines how deep those scars are. It’s a relationship where the more you stay, the more your identity is eroded and you end up feeling like you’re someone who’s totally different. Understanding the effects of being in one does help to know the areas you need to focus on in your healing journey. So, what are some of the effects of being in a toxic relationship?

1. Loss of Self-Esteem

Toxic relationships have a great impact on your self-esteem. These types of relationships are often marked by manipulation, control, and emotional abuse, which can leave you feeling uncertain about who you are and your abilities. The longer you remain in a toxic relationship, the more severe the harm to your self-esteem can be.

A manipulative person will make you doubt yourself and your worth because most of their actions and conversations make you feel less of a human being. They rarely uplift you or even share something that encourages or boost your confidence. You may feel like you are not good enough or deserving of love and respect. This can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-blame, which can further erode your self-esteem.

2. Difficulty trusting others

One other common thing is a toxic relationship will ruin your ability to trust others. This is because you were lied to, betrayed by someone who was once your closest confidant. When you were in that toxic relationship, your partner may have used manipulation and control to isolate you from friends and family. They may have created this narrative that they are the only person you can trust, and everyone else is out to get you.


This will make it incredibly challenging to trust others, even after you have left the relationship. Moreover, the emotional abuse and gaslighting that led to feelings of self-doubt and confusion. This can make it challenging to determine whom to trust or to even trust yourself, as you may second-guess your own judgment. You just view trust as the foundation for future betrayal and hurt. You will also feel paranoid and think that other people are out there to use you and hurt you.


3. Struggles with boundaries

A toxic relationship is a place where your boundaries have been neglected and violated. You partner disregarded your boundaries, you neglected your needs and interests. You’ve gotten to the point where you don’t really know what you can or cannot tolerate in life because you’re used to someone else walking over you.

This can leave you feeling overwhelmed and drained, as you may feel like you’re giving too much of yourself to others without receiving anything in return. The pain you’ve experienced creates uncertainty about what healthy boundaries look like and how to enforce them. You may also feel that you’re not worthy of taking care of yourself or even having boundaries.

4. Negative Self-talk

Toxic relationships can also lead to self-talk where you harshly criticize and belittle yourself. You may have internalized the negative messages that your ex-partner constantly fed you with, and now you repeat them to yourself on a regular basis. You will be emotionally abusing yourself even long after you’ve left that toxic relationship. Your inner critic will be constantly invalidating, dismissing or minimizing your feelings and emotions.

It’s more like having an inner narcissist who inflicts more pain in you. Your life is just full of negative beliefs about yourself and it’s more of like being in a toxic relationship with yourself. Most things which happens in your life will have negative connotations of how you’re such a bad person or just any other word that carries feelings of deep self-hatred.

The effect of being in a toxic relationship should not be watered down because it leaves scars which when not addressed may draw you to the same toxic patterns. It’s also important to always strive to leave those toxic relationships as early as possible so that you can lessen the damage it will have in your life.

The other thing is being in a toxic relationship doesn’t signify the end of life for you and you can see it as a new journey of self-discovery. A journey to the inner world where you go to explore your unhealed parts and rise beyond them. It can be hard to dig yourself up but you don’t have to do it alone.

Having someone to guide you alone the journey of healing does help in moving forward. Whatever path you choose, always focus on you and be compassionate with yourself as you seek to break free from toxicity and move towards a life of healthy relationships and happiness.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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