Toxic positivity and Toxic relationships

Toxic positivity and Toxic relationships toxic positivity and toxic relationships

One thing with life we always want things to go to the positive side to the point we forget that positive is the opposite of negative and one cannot exist without the other. Positivity can be quite destructive if all we do is bury our heads in the sand without keenly exploring and looking and the current reality of the situation we’re dealing with. Positivity itself is a great thing but when used as an escape from the current state of affairs, it turns out to be toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity is this belief that no matter what happens or what’s happening in life you’ve got to remain positive. It is positivity taken to the extreme end while ignoring the truth of the current situation. When you have this mindset, you want to be happy all the time and you even want to push others to feel that way.

It can look like a great thing but you might find yourself being stuck in an extremely toxic situation (like toxic relationship) because you’re a ‘very positive’ person and you’re still very optimistic that the relationship will work. Despite the sadness and the loneliness, you’re experiencing you choose to put a fake ‘smile’ in your face just because you’re a positive person. Being hopeful and positive about your relationship is not bad thing but it becomes dangerous when it’s blinding you from seeing how your general wellbeing is deteriorating.

Toxic positivity and Toxic relationships toxic positivity and toxic relationships

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Toxic Positivity and Keeping You Trapped in a Toxic Relationships

Toxic positivity and being stuck in a toxic relationship go so well. A toxic relationship is a place where your feelings are constantly invalidated and you even develop a mindset that you’re not supposed to experience those feelings. When your mindset is that of toxic positivity, you will mask those feelings because you just want to have a happy mood in life. So, instead of really feeling those negative or even seeing what the relationship is doing to you, you choose to remain positive and just feel the positive side of things.

Those close to you may also echo your positive mindset by telling you that you’ve got to be positive in life and things will work out. You’re in pain and going through atrocious things but your ‘positive’ self just wants to remain positive and invalidate the pain you’re experiencing deep inside. The moment you acknowledge the pain, you will look for ways to escape the pain even if it means leaving the relationship. When we suppress our emotions for far too long, it starts to weigh us down and even affects your physical health.

Another thing is we mostly view a relationship as two people coming together. So, with this mindset you will be more positive about the relationship (two of you) working that you even forget about yourself. It’s all about looking at the positive outlook of the relationship improving without looking at if the relationship is really bringing a positive outlook out of your life. The more you stay, the more you shame yourself for feeling sad and experiencing those negative emotions.

This weakens you and ruins your self-esteem as you’re not true to what you’re feeling. You just want to see the positive yet nothing is happening which looks close to positive. That’s what makes toxic positivity so wrong, it feeds you with a happy illusion yet in reality you’re suffering on the inside.

How to Deal with Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is a coping strategy we use to avoid feeling those uncomfortable emotions in life. It helps us push away or dismiss those negative feelings because we feel that we cannot deal with them. The best way to start is knowing that suppressed emotions never really go away, they just get bottled deep within you and in one way or another they will find a way to just show themselves (outbursts of anger, depression or even physical symptoms like chronic pain).

We also need to understand that it’s okay to cry and it’s actually beautiful because it allows us to release or unburden ourselves from those painful emotions. The more you express them, the more you connect with your true self. If you find it really hard to express those emotions then you can always seek help to uncover those false beliefs (subconscious beliefs) you have about expressing negative emotions.

When you’re stuck with toxic positivity you build walls between you and your authentic self so as to keep you ‘safe’ from experiencing those uncomfortable emotions in life. It can look safe but you’ll be missing out on that genuine laughter and genuine cry, and that’s what life is all about.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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