Denial Phase in a Narcissistic Relationship

Denial Phase in a Narcissistic Relationship

Denial Phase in a Narcissistic Relationship denial phase in a narcissistic relationship

One of the hardest things to do for someone who’s in a narcissistic relationship is to accept that their partner cannot revert to who they were early on in the relationship — that person who constantly love-bombed them and treated them like royalty.

Coupled with the fact that a manipulative person has shattered their perception of reality, an abuse survivor will deny that there’s nothing more they can do, and the only solution is for them to leave the relationship for the sake of their peace of mind.

One thing about the denial phase is that someone may start rationalizing some of the abusive behaviors because they cannot see anything beyond making the relationship work. The victim has also constantly been subjected to all kinds of psychological, emotional, or even physical torture to the point they are so traumatized. This means that they will find it really hard to decide on their own or to stand up for themselves and realize that they are being abused, and it might be time to pack their bags and leave.

This denial phase is where someone will try so hard to change their partner, making them stay longer in the abusive relationship with the hope/assumption that their partner will eventually change. That’s why acceptance is one of the first steps toward healing after narcissistic abuse. Acceptance is the stage of acknowledging that there’s nothing more one can do to make the relationship work.

Acceptance also involves realizing that the relationship is unhealthy for you and reconciliation is not an option. It’s more about recognizing the actual facts and seeing the relationship for what it is currently, instead of what it was, and understanding that the only option for you is to seek life outside that toxic environment.

How to Practice Acceptance after Being in a Narcissistic Relationship?

Acceptance is not an easy thing to do when someone is involved in an abusive relationship, but it is also a necessity as denial of the facts will not make things better. Here are some of the things you can do that will help you come to terms with the fact that the relationship cannot work and you have to find that better life you deserve.

  1. Educate Yourself

This is where you build your understanding and learn about what constitutes a narcissistic or manipulative relationship. It will help you deeply understand how manipulators think, the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship, as well as getting you to understand what’s been happening in the relationship.

Educating yourself will also mean reading stories of other survivors of abuse, which will be an eye-opener for you regarding some of the things toxic people can do and why leaving the relationship is the best thing for you.

The self-knowledge you gain will heighten your self-awareness, and you might get to the point where you’re now certain, beyond any level of doubt, that the relationship cannot work, and there’s no need to wait for the impossible.

2. Write Down a List of Things You Don’t Like about the Relationship Another way that will help you in the denial phase of the relationship is writing a simple and detailed list of what you don’t like about the relationship. You can also write down what you like about it and then compare the two.

This step requires you to be honest with yourself and write things from the perspective of what you’re seeing. This will enable you to have a holistic view of what the relationship is doing to you. Additionally, you can write down something about what your ideal relationship would be like for you and then compare it with the situation you’re currently in. It’s more about raising your awareness of how far you might be from that healthy relationship you deserve.

3. Be Patient with Yourself

One last way that will help you get out of the denial phase is to realize that accepting what’s been happening in the relationship is not a one-night thing and it may take some time. It’s also acknowledging that rediscovering your authentic self will take some work, and you just have to be gentle and patient with yourself. It’s also about admitting that it will be emotionally painful, and that’s just part of the healing journey.


Understanding why someone you loved is doing what they’re doing to you is not easy. It may not be immediately clear, but you’re better off away from that torturous relationship. You deserve a life where you’ll be loved and respected, and that can only be found outside that narcissistic relationship.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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