Anger Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

Anger Issues After Narcissistic Abuse anger issues after narcissistic abuse
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of why you are always very angry after leaving an abusive relationship. You might find yourself mad at everyone: mad at your ex for what they put you through, angry that they hurt you, angry that they are moving forward with their life. You might even be angry at your family because they did not support you enough in your healing journey. You feel they are not supporting you enough.

You are a very bitter person, deeply bitter and angered all the time. You also find yourself angered by small things in life. Let’s say even if a fly flies in front of you, you get angry. You’re always angered by small situations. You are also angry at yourself for not leaving sooner or for not listen to your friend’s advice or for not being able to ‘heal’. You’re just boiling on the inside.

Unpacking the Anger

So why does it really happen? Actually, you are angry not because of the current situations you are experiencing; it’s because everything in your present life or any slight anger in your present life triggers the unprocessed anger you’ve been carrying all along, ever since you were betrayed by those close to you. Those close to you may have been your parents, siblings, colleagues, your partner, or people you held in high regard or did not expect to betray you.

So when you carry these deep feelings of anger and resentment, it simply shows that someone hurt you. Someone close to you hurt you, but the one bearing these feelings of anger is you. That’s why any slight angering moment in your present life is like a switch that opens the door to the anger you’ve never really processed. That’s why you always get so angry at small things.

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Misplaced Anger

You might even get angry because the traffic is not flowing. Yes, you know it’s not within your control, but you get so angry to the point that you start complaining about the government, the world, everything.

To you, small moments lead to huge reactions. When small moments lead to huge reactions in your life, it simply means that you are not really experiencing anger in its raw or immediate form. You are experiencing the anger you’ve never really dealt with.

Healing the Anger

And actually, you can use this anger constructively because you’re so angry at all those people who’ve hurt you in your life, but you can use it constructively as motivation to work on yourself, as motivation to why now you really need to step up and really look for you and really look after you.

Harnessing Anger as Fuel

That’s a very great way to look at anger. You can use it as fuel because normally after living an abusive relationship, you don’t have much motivation to work on yourself. You’re feeling hopeless, helpless, but when you are angry, you can use that as fuel to seek help, to work on yourself, to improve your physical and mental health.


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So, anger is not a bad thing, but the anger you are experiencing now is not really because of present experiences. It’s just because there’s a little disconnect between you and your authentic self. So this anger is just telling you, “Hey, what are you doing? Come back to me.”

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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