7 SIGNS YOU’RE HEALING FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE 7 signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse
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Being involved with a narcissist is exhausting and challenging, and moving on doesn’t end with just physically leaving and rebuilding a new life. It is not easy to realize and come to terms with what has happened because narcissistic abuse distorts your sense of reality. Narcissistic abuse is a web of deceit, manipulation, control, and invalidation. It leaves you with feelings of guilt, loneliness, hopelessness, sadness, stress, as well as questioning your sanity. The question you will constantly ask yourself at this point is how long does it take to heal.

Healing isn’t a straight path, and it will be full of meanders and detours. It isn’t really about the destination but rather the small noticeable improvements you make along the way that enhance the quality and meaning of your life. There’s no one-size-fits-all, and you can’t expect any magical improvement overnight. You may endure several months of pain and struggle without having an idea if you’re progressing or not simply because the urge to go back to your Narcissistic Ex is so irresistible (more like an addict in recovery craving to taste that drug). It’s good to know that these are the common feelings one experiences in their healing journey, and your feelings are valid, and it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.


It takes commitment, time, effort, and courage to undo the effects of narcissistic abuse in your life, and once you start focusing more on your healing journey, you will experience some signs that healing is within reach. Of course, some days will be better, and some will be worse, and that’s why it’s good to really recognize the progress you’re making in your journey of self-discovery — and that’s what this article will address. As you read this article, please note that our healing journeys are different, and the best reference you can use to see if you’re making progress is comparing yourself with your previous version of you to see if you’ve made improvements.

Below are the 7 key signs that you’re healing and recovering from Narcissistic Abuse:

  1. You Prioritize Your Self-Care More & More

When we are in a narcissistic relationship, we neglect ourselves for so long that we even forget how our own physical, mental, and emotional health looks like. The abuse may make us turn to various unhealthy coping mechanisms (like substance abuse, binge-eating) simply because they may provide quick relief from the pain we’re feeling, and this ends up doing more harm than good in our lives.

You will know you’re healing when you start taking care of yourself more than before. You become your number one priority by focusing your time and energy on things that enhance your general well-being. It is more about picking up the healthy habits which you’d cast aside. This includes taking time off social media, eating healthy meals, working out, mindfulness, maintaining good hygiene, engaging in hobbies, or even getting enough sleep. Simply said, it is more about nourishing yourself and being a little self-centered because you understand your needs come first. Just trying to make these healthy changes to your life means you are healing.

2. You Become More Decisive

A narcissistic relationship makes you second-guess yourself a lot, resulting in trouble making your own decisions or choices. In a relationship where you’re dominated, controlled, and shut down when you try to express yourself, deciding becomes so hard as you’ve become too unsure of yourself. You’ve been also programmed to turn to someone else for guidance, permission, or approval when trying to make decisions — big or small.

You will know you’re healing when you start looking within yourself when making decisions in your everyday life. The voice of your inner critic will be quieter and quieter, and you will feel more confident in your decisions.

3. You Experience Less Anxiety Than You Used To

Anxiety is a common result of being in a narcissistic relationship. The substantial stress you face triggers constant feelings of nervousness, panic, worry, and fear as you never know what to expect from their actions. It’s also confusing and frustrating trying to come to terms with what caused them to change so quickly, especially if you’re not aware of narcissistic manipulation. You will find yourself constantly walking on eggshells so as not to offend or upset them.

You will know you’re healing when you start experiencing less anxiety. This may manifest through less worry and panic, better sleep and feeling good when you wake up, relaxed muscles, not getting easily triggered, better concentration throughout the day, and more.

4. You Realize That You’re Not Crazy

Narcissistic abuse will leave you feeling like you’re crazy as you’ve been constantly called out on various ways that everything is always your fault (even what’s happening in their lives). They criticize and undermine you in all kinds of weird and indirect ways, from judgments to ‘opinions.’ They leave you constantly doubting and questioning yourself, which literally drives you crazy. You start living life questioning your sanity, and you might even think you’re the narcissist.


You will know you’re healing when you start regaining your sense of sanity back and actually understand that you are not crazy after all but you’re just a victim of a manipulative dynamic. You’ve understood that the abuse was real, and you see the abuse for what it was.

5. You’ve Taken Personal Responsibility

Let’s get one thing clear here: personal responsibility does not mean that you’re to blame for the abuse that happened to you but rather you acknowledge it’s your role to heal & move forward with life. It is the acceptance that the abuse happened, and you’re not powerless in creating the life you deserve.

You will know you’re healing when you’ve fully accepted the situation, and you’ve taken responsibility for your healing. You now understand that you’re completely responsible for your efforts, self-care, finances, and generally everything in your life. For instance, if there are things you want in your life, you take total responsibility for making them happen. It’s more of focusing on yourself, acknowledging your feelings and emotions, recognizing your wants and needs, and then gently taking the steps to meet them. It may also involve understanding that you’re not responsible for other people’s actions and behaviors.

6. You Spend Less Time Thinking & Obsessing About Them

Having lingering thoughts about our Exes is a normal experience to have after leaving a narcissistic relationship. We may experience cravings and the urge to go back to them as we constantly ruminate on the good traits in the relationship. You might find yourself constantly stalking them on social media, checking your phone to see if they’ve called or texted, checking your old photos together, or just living your life around things/experiences that remind you of them.

You will know you’re healing when you find yourself doing less of this and not even caring much about what they’re up to, and they start feeling more invisible to you. You will also spend most of your days minding your own business instead of obsessively thinking about them, their new supply, or the fact that they seem so happy.

7. You Start Feeling More Energetic

Being in a narcissistic relationship is very draining and depleting as you keep giving and giving till your wells start running dry. You experience physical, emotionally, and mental drain as you always do everything from attending to all physical chores to their emotional needs with little or no reciprocation. You can never relax because they always attack you, and you feel the need to defend yourself every time. Simply said, being in a narcissistic relationship is like being in a full-time job with no pay. As they say, narcissists are emotional vampires, they suck and leech on your mind, emotion, and soul.

You will notice you’re healing when you start feeling lighter, unburdened, productive, and generally feeling more energetic in everything you do in life. You will also be less fatigued.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is a painful and challenging experience. It requires daily effort and commitment to heal, but the benefits that come with it are worth the effort. It may take weeks, months, or even years to fully rediscover yourself, but all this will depend on the level of support, effort, and commitment you’re willing to put into your healing journey.

If you are feeling better today than you were yesterday, then you are healing. It doesn’t matter if it seems infinitesimal to you as long as you’re moving forward. In the end, be patient and compassionate with yourself as you’ve gone through a hard time, but things will get better. Healing is a marathon, and we all set our own pace.

“A journey of a thousand steps begins with a single step” — Lao Tzu

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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