Why Do People say “I am Not Ready to Heal”?

Why Do People say “I am Not Ready to Heal”? why do people say “i am not ready to heal”?
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Healing is a beautiful and transformative process, offering liberation from the shackles of pain and the weight of the past. Yet, surprisingly, many individuals shy away from embarking on this journey of self-discovery and emotional recovery, often expressing, “I am not ready to heal.”

During my interactions with potential clients, I often notice a common feeling of not being ready to confront their inner struggles or inner ‘demons’. They seek advice but are hesitant to take the necessary steps towards healing. I always emphasize that they need to embark on this journey themselves because external advice can only go so far. The fear of facing the pain or trauma can be overwhelming, making them doubt their ability to cope with it. It’s like being on fire and feeling the pain, but for some reason, they are afraid of getting out of that burning situation.

So, why are we afraid of facing or inner stuff?

1. Fear of Overwhelming Nature of the Problem

Confronting past pain or traumatic experiences can be an incredibly daunting prospect for many people. The memories of those painful events can be overwhelming and emotionally intense. People may fear that they lack the necessary emotional strength or coping mechanisms to handle the flood of emotions that may arise during the healing process.


Paradoxically, the pain itself becomes a barrier to facing and healing from it. The fear of feeling vulnerable, exposed, or overwhelmed by those past emotions can be so powerful that it keeps you from taking the first step towards healing. You might believe that if you open the door to those painful memories, you will be unable to cope with the intensity of their emotions, leading to even more distress.

In a way, it’s like being caught in a loop — wanting to escape the pain, but the fear of the pain prevents you from finding relief. It’s a protective mechanism, albeit an unhealthy one, as the mind tries to shield itself from the emotional turmoil by avoiding any confrontation with the past.

As a result, people may choose to bury their pain deeper within, thinking that it is better to avoid dealing with it altogether. Unfortunately, this only prolongs the suffering and prevents you from experiencing the freedom and healing that come from facing their inner demons.

2. Lack of Awareness

Another reason why you might hesitate to embark on the healing process is that you may not fully grasp the profound impact of emotional wounds or past experiences on your current life. You might downplay the significance of these issues, believing that you can simply push them aside and focus solely on your present circumstances.

Without acknowledging the impact of these emotional wounds, you may unintentionally carry the burden of unresolved emotions into your daily life, affecting your relationships, behaviors, and overall well-being.

When you fail to recognize the connections between your past experiences and present struggles, you may inadvertently undermine your capacity to heal and grow. Ignoring the roots of emotional pain can lead to reoccurring patterns of behavior and emotional distress, leaving you feeling stuck and unable to break free from the past’s hold.

One of the common statements I frequently encounter while working with clients is, “That’s not a priority right now.” This response often arises from a lack of understanding regarding the profound impact of living with unresolved emotional trauma in their present lives. However, gaining awareness can shed light on the significance of addressing this trauma as a top priority.

Unhealed emotional trauma can act like a heavy weight, dragging people down and hindering their ability to achieve their goals. By acknowledging and addressing these traumas and emotional pain, you can lighten their emotional load, enabling you to move forward more swiftly in life.

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack filled with emotional baggage — it slows you down, making every step more arduous. However, when you confront and process these emotional wounds, it’s like removing some of the weight from that backpack. As a result, you feel lighter, more energized, and better equipped to pursue your aspirations.

Moreover, healing emotional wounds can positively impact various aspects of life. By understanding the significance of prioritizing healing, you can experience improved relationships, enhanced emotional well-being, and greater overall fulfillment. Emotional healing can also foster a sense of resilience and self-empowerment, allowing you to face life’s challenges with a clearer and more positive mindset.

3. Comfort Zone

Healing should be a top priority in our lives because it holds the key to unlocking emotional freedom and unleashing our true potential. However, many of us tend to remain in our comfort zones, even if it means enduring pain and negative emotions. The mind seeks solace in the familiar, even if that familiarity is unpleasant or detrimental to our well-being. Consequently, stepping outside this comfort zone, even with the promise of liberation and healing, can seem daunting and intimidating.

Our instinct for self-preservation plays a significant role in this reluctance to embrace healing. The mind’s primary function is to keep us safe and protected from potential harm, both physical and emotional. It perceives the comfort zone as a safe haven, even if it means carrying emotional burdens from the past.


The idea of venturing into the unknown territory of healing may trigger fear and uncertainty. Subconsciously, the mind might associate healing with re-opening old wounds and facing painful memories, which can be emotionally overwhelming. As a result, we may choose to stay within the confines of our comfort zone, believing it is better to cope with familiar pain than to risk the unfamiliarity of healing.

4. External Pressures

Lastly, external pressures and societal attitudes can significantly discourage you from seeking healing and emotional recovery. Unfortunately, there still exists a stigma around mental health in most societies, leading some to view therapy or seeking mental health support as unnecessary or even taboo. This negative outlook can create significant barriers for those who are already struggling with emotional wounds and make them hesitant to address their inner struggles openly.

The fear of being judged or labeled as “weak” or “broken” prevents many people from seeking the help they need. They may worry about how others will perceive them or fear facing discrimination or social isolation if they openly acknowledge their emotional challenges.

Moreover, cultural norms and societal expectations can play a role in deterring people from seeking healing. Some cultures may discourage open discussions about mental health, preferring to maintain a facade of strength and resilience- common theme where I come from. This emphasis on self-reliance can lead us to suppress their emotions, pretending that everything is fine, even when they are suffering internally.

The media and popular culture can also perpetuate misconceptions about therapy and mental health support. Portrayals of mental health issues in a negative light or as something to be ashamed of can reinforce the belief that seeking help is a sign of weakness.

All these external pressures can create a toxic environment that dissuades individuals from addressing their emotional struggles. The fear of judgment, social stigma, and cultural norms can keep people trapped in a cycle of pain and prevent them from taking the crucial step towards healing.


“You are strong enough to heal. Embrace the journey of healing, and watch how you rise above your pain to find the freedom and joy that await you on the other side.”

Taking the courageous step towards healing demands self-compassion and a willingness to confront past traumas. It requires acknowledging the discomfort and fear associated with this journey. Embracing healing means recognizing that temporary discomfort and facing our inner demons are necessary steps to reach a place of liberation and emotional wholeness.

Leaving the comfort zone is not easy, but it is a transformative journey that opens doors to personal growth, resilience, and authentic happiness. By stepping out of our comfort zone and into the healing process, we give ourselves the chance to rewrite our narratives and create a future filled with emotional well-being, inner strength, and the freedom to live life to its fullest. Remember, healing is a brave choice that empowers us to embrace our true selves and thrive beyond the limitations of our past.

What can help you overcome these fears and barriers as well is to focus on yourself and understand the tremendous potential for growth and freedom once you start healing. Imagine a life with less anxieties, stress, and limitations — this is the life that awaits you on the path to healing. Take small steps, surround yourself with positive influences, and be willing to commit to this transformative journey.

If you are unsure about where to begin or what the healing journey entails, you can always reach out for help. I’ll be happy to explain the process and show you what breakthroughs can look like. Remember, it’s all about your willingness and commitment to embrace healing and embrace a life of peace and liberation. Keep going, and you will find a better place for yourself.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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