Signs you are Being Used in a Relationship

Signs you are Being Used in a Relationship signs you are being used in a relationship
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We all deeply desire that one person who can be our knight in shining armor, but it does not always go as planned. You may find yourself being the only one who keeps giving and giving in that one-sided relationship. Not all relationships are about give and take; some are just places where you’re the oasis, and the other person is there to drain that well dry. When someone you deeply care about (a friend or a loved one) seems to constantly take advantage of you and offer nothing in return, it can be damaging to your self-esteem and self-worth.

So, how do you know if someone is using you? In this article, we’re going to explore 14 signs that you’re being used.

14 Signs that Someone is Using You

  1. All conversations are about them: If you find that the conversations you have with them revolve entirely around their life, as if the world centers on them, then you’re probably being used. They might talk about their day, career, successes, family, and everything without giving you space to share your side. They focus so much on themselves and show no interest in your life. The weight of their conversations is filled with words like “My” or “I.” It’s more of a monologue and a one-sided conversation every time you interact with them, and they expect you to listen.
  2. They never/rarely say thank you: A user is rarely grateful or never expresses thanks. It’s as if “thank you” is not in their vocabulary. If you’ve always done a lot for a friend or partner and they’ve never shown any appreciation for your efforts, then you’re probably being used. This mostly shows that they feel entitled to what you’re giving them and don’t see the need for appreciation.
  3. They’re always asking for favors: Do they constantly need favors from you? If you frequently find yourself in a situation where someone calls on you only when they need something, then you’re likely being used. The favor might be running an errand for them, an ‘emergency,’ asking for money, or anything else. You’re their ‘go-to person’ solely for meeting their personal needs.
  4. They never reciprocate: Another way to spot if you’re being used is when you continually give, but you receive nothing in return. A user rarely reciprocates, and if they do, they might exaggerate their efforts and use that single instance as evidence of how they’ve helped you, even though you’ve done much more without making a fuss.
  5. They disappear during difficult times: One common way to determine if someone is using you is by observing how they distance themselves when you truly need their help. A user will come up with various excuses when you ask for help, especially in challenging situations. They might not answer your calls and then claim they were not feeling well or were busy, just to avoid helping you.
  6. They’re always nice when they need something from you: Another sign that supports their constant requests for favors is that a user will act nice and friendly when they know they need something from you. This is a way to mask the fact that they’re rarely nice to you when they don’t need anything from you. Being selectively nice is an indicator that someone is trying to exploit you to meet their needs.
  7. Zero action — All talk: Actions speak louder than words, but for a user, this doesn’t hold true. They might frequently talk about what they’re planning to do but consistently fail to take action. It’s like they make empty promises of action, but there’s no follow-through. You fulfill your end of the deal, but they keep their end with just empty talk.
  8. You are their Secret: Another way to determine if someone is using you is if you only meet them in secret or in private. They’ve never introduced you or even talked about you to their friends, family, or on their social media. It’s as if they don’t want others to know you’re together. In a romantic relationship, this is a clear sign that they might replace you or have someone else in their life, and you’re only there to fulfill their needs, often in the bedroom.
  9. They’re disinterested in what you do: Another warning sign that you might be on the receiving end of a user is when they show zero or very little interest in your life. They never ask about your career, family, or anything about you. A relationship is supposed to be a place where you enjoy each other’s company, but in a one-sided relationship, they’re only interested when they need your attention and have no genuine concern for you or your life.
  10. You’re the last priority: Someone who uses you will put you last, prioritizing everything else in their life over you. Apart from their needs taking precedence over yours, their friends will probably come before you. They won’t prioritize you or treat you as an equal in the relationship. It’s as if they consume most of the loaf of bread and only offer you the remaining breadcrumbs and the wrapping paper.
  11. Constant Lying & dishonesty: Another characteristic of a user is their constant dishonesty, especially when they want their needs met. Since their main goal is using you as a stepping stone to fulfill their needs, they’ll consistently deceive you to get what they want, often without considering the damage their lies may cause.
  12. Avoiding the ‘talk’: For romantic relationships, another way to determine if you’re being used is if your partner consistently avoids serious discussions. When you bring up topics like the future of the relationship or commitment, they might get defensive or blatantly ignore the conversation. This signals that they likely don’t envision you in their future plans and are just using you.
  13. Ignoring your well-being: Another sign that someone is using you is if they disregard your feelings, especially when you’re doing something for them. You might have shared situations that make you uncomfortable, but they will push you to do it as long as it serves them. They will ignore the emotional pain you’re experiencing as long as their needs are met.
  14. Manipulating You: A user will use various manipulative tactics to get their way. They might guilt-trip or manipulate you into doing things for them. If you decline, they might say things like, “I thought you were my best friend” or “I thought you loved me.” They use these statements to coerce you into acting against your will.


Any relationship is meant to be a mutual effort with respect from both sides. If you find yourself in a one-sided relationship, set boundaries and communicate with the person about your discomfort with their behavior. If the person is willing to change, seeking professional help might be beneficial. However, if they remain unresponsive and continue their behavior, it’s best for your mental well-being to distance yourself from them.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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