How to Live Peacefully with A Toxic Partner

How to Live Peacefully with A Toxic Partner how to live peacefully with a toxic partner
Photo by Carlos de Miguel on Unsplash

In most toxic relationships, there’s a gray area that often arises when you discover that your partner is toxic, yet you can’t leave due to various reasons such as lack of support, planning an exit, insufficient finances, hope, fear, intimidation, disability, or other factors that may hold you back. It’s a challenging situation because you’ve become aware of their abusive ways, and one aspect of awareness is that you can’t unsee what you’ve witnessed.

As a result, you begin to feel more anxious and sadder, living under the same roof as someone you hardly recognize. Naturally, the best choice is to distance yourself from such a relationship, as staying longer only deepens the trauma and pain. However, I understand that certain factors might make it incredibly difficult to simply wake up, pack your belongings, and leave.

This article is intended for those who remain in a toxic relationship and are unable to leave just yet, but still wish to mitigate the effects of their partner’s emotionally abusive behavior or find a way to coexist peacefully with a narcissistic spouse. Whether you’re saving up funds or waiting for unavoidable circumstances to resolve before leaving, the strategies below can help you endure the daily onslaught of verbal abuse without losing your sanity, while also laying the groundwork for your healing journey.

  1. Engage in Distraction Activities

Verbal abuse tends to have less impact if you’re able to avoid hearing or listening to it. Therefore, while still in the relationship, create distraction activities (pretend activities) that keep you occupied. Every interaction with an abuser chips away at your self-worth and self-esteem.

Thus, seek ways to minimize contact as much as possible. Although you’re sharing the same living space, finding ways to stay busy in the kitchen, bedroom, laundry room, playing with the kids, or any other task that keeps you away from them can be beneficial. The key is to maintain a list of activities that you can engage in when they’re present, helping you reduce contact even if the activities seem unproductive (such as folding clothes for extended periods).

2. Reduce Triggers for Arguments

Another method for achieving a ‘more peaceful’ coexistence with a toxic person involves minimizing situations that commonly lead to arguments. After spending time with them, you likely have an idea of what tends to trigger their aggressive responses. Your best course of action is to decrease those situations whenever possible. Furthermore, if you sense an argument is about to erupt, consider agreeing with them, as it’s often an environment in which they thrive. Note that agreeing doesn’t mean allowing someone to physically harm you. Instead, it’s about considering the impact of arguments on your mental well-being.

Instances that often lead to arguments in a toxic family environment include critiques like “this dish lacks salt,” “this meal isn’t properly cooked,” “you’re running late,” or “the car isn’t parked correctly.” You can gracefully acquiesce by responding with something like, “You’re right; I’ll do better next time.” Agreeing serves to feed their ego, which perpetually craves attention. Use this to your advantage.

3. Abandon Expectations

In a toxic relationship, moments of kindness from your partner might occasionally surface, such as compliments or rare gifts. However, don’t be deceived by these acts; a single kind gesture doesn’t erase their abusive nature. It’s easy to start hoping that they’re changing, only to find yourself subjected to the same cycle of mistreatment once more.

To safeguard your mental well-being and reduce disappointments, adopt a stance of zero expectations regarding your partner’s potential for change. This will prevent you from waiting in vain for a transformation that may never come, preventing you from being lured back into the illusionary phase of the relationship.

4. Cultivate a Strong Support Network

Although a toxic relationship might have isolated you from friends and family, now that you recognize the toxicity, work on building a robust support network that provides emotional and physical assistance when needed.

Such a network can offer you a sense of belonging and remind you that you’re not alone, significantly benefiting your mental health. Your toxic partner may attempt to manipulate you by involving others from your support network, so focus on maintaining contact solely with trusted confidants who won’t side with the abuser.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

While still in a narcissistic relationship, adopting practices that enhance your overall well-being can be immensely valuable. Ditch harmful habits like overeating or excessive drinking, even if they temporarily alleviate your pain. Instead, engage in self-care activities such as exercise, journaling, maintaining personal hygiene, reading, consuming nutritious food, or any action that brings you joy.

These practices bolster your self-esteem and sense of worth, providing additional motivation as you plan your departure. Despite the efforts of your toxic partner to discourage your self-care, continue these activities, steering clear of arguments. Practices like exercise and journaling also offer an outlet for releasing the negativity constantly directed at you.

6. Educate Yourself about Toxic Relationships

Gaining insights from other survivors who’ve endured similar situations can be highly beneficial. Their experiences can provide you with a better grasp of the do’s and don’ts when navigating such an environment. Recognizing that others have thrived and found peace after leaving toxic relationships can offer hope and improve your awareness about various aspects of your situation. This knowledge arms you to cope effectively and handle manipulative tactics.

7. Seek Professional Assistance Privately

To guide you on this journey, consider seeking confidential support from a therapist, counselor, or knowledgeable helper familiar with the complexities of toxic relationships. Such professionals can facilitate your healing process, allowing you to develop a more positive perspective on your circumstances. Additionally, they can assist you in devising an effective plan for managing the relationship or planning your exit.


Remaining in a toxic relationship is undeniably challenging, but the strategies outlined above can help you regulate your emotional state and maintain your sanity while you work toward leaving. Remember, these approaches shouldn’t serve as a way to procrastinate your departure. If your relationship involves violence, prioritize your safety by leaving immediately and seeking refuge. Always remind yourself that you deserve a healthier life. Even if you still hold love for your toxic partner, it’s acceptable to distance yourself, safeguarding your mental well-being from their emotional torment.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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