Will Keeping Myself Busy Help While Healing from Abuse?

Will Keeping Myself Busy Help While Healing from Abuse? will keeping myself busy help while healing from abuse?
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

One thing you will definitely do after you’ve left a toxic relationship is to try to keep yourself busy by either immersing yourself in work, engaging in various activities, or surrounding yourself with friends and family. It’s a natural response to the emotional aftermath of a toxic relationship, as you seek to fill the void left by the toxic person’s absence and distract yourself from the pain and turmoil you experienced.

Does it Help to Keep Yourself Busy?

Engaging in activities to keep busy after leaving a toxic relationship provides a brief respite from the overwhelming emotions that often accompany such a decision. Immersing oneself in work, socializing, or pursuing hobbies acts as a distraction, temporarily diverting attention away from the raw pain and heartache left in the aftermath. In these moments of busyness, the intensity of the emotions is somewhat suppressed, offering a protective buffer that prevents immediate confrontation with the full weight of the pain. While this temporary relief can be comforting, it is crucial to acknowledge that healing cannot be achieved through avoidance alone.

The Problem with Keeping Yourself Busy

It is essential to recognize that busyness alone cannot facilitate genuine healing and recovery. While it offers temporary relief from immediate distress, unresolved emotions linger beneath the surface, ready to resurface when distractions subside. Unhealed wounds never truly vanish, and they manifest when engaging in activities or behaviors that contradict one’s true self or when experiencing unexplained physical symptoms.


When you keep yourself busy as a coping mechanism, it can be likened to being in a house on fire. The intense emotions and pain from the toxic relationship act as the fire, and staying occupied serves as a temporary distraction, much like taking a cup of water to console yourself. While the distraction may offer some relief, it does not address the root cause of the pain, just as the cup of water does not extinguish the fire. The fire of unresolved emotions continues to burn beneath the surface, waiting to consume you emotionally if left unaddressed.


In conclusion, while keeping busy may provide temporary relief from the pain of a toxic relationship, it is crucial to recognize that avoidance of emotional wounds is not a sustainable solution. Like being in a burning house, taking a cup of water to console ourselves only delays the inevitable — the fire of unresolved emotions will continue to consume us from within. True healing lies in facing the pain, acknowledging the emotions, and actively working on healing those wounds.

Choosing to stay with the pain by avoiding it only prolongs our suffering. It prevents us from embracing our journey of growth and self-discovery. Instead, let us be courageous enough to confront our emotions head-on, for it is in facing our pain that we can truly begin to heal. Remember, you are worthy of healing and happiness. Allow yourself the space and time to process your emotions and break free from the cycle of pain.

Choose to extinguish the fire of unresolved pain and suffering within, and in doing so, rediscover the strength and resilience to create a brighter and more fulfilling future. You hold the power to heal, grow, and emerge from the ashes of the past, forging a path towards a life filled with authenticity, self-love, and genuine happiness.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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