Will a Covert Narcissist Monitor Your Moves After Discard?

Will a Covert Narcissist Monitor Your Moves After Discard? will a covert narcissist monitor your moves after discard?
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After a discard, will a covert narcissist keep tabs on you or still monitor your moves? This question is undeniably interesting, especially for those leaving an abusive relationship with a covert narcissist. A covert narcissist often hide their grandiosity and need for admiration behind a facade of humility and self-sacrifice, manipulating others to fulfill their desires while avoiding accountability. Understanding the post-relationship behaviors of such personalities can sometimes be helpful but it’s good to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. While many covert narcissists exhibit similar traits, their actions following a breakup vary widely.

When They Monitor You

Some may indeed continue to keep tabs on you, reaching out with calls or attempts to reconcile. They may also be physically stalking you or stalk you through social media or even ask others about how you’re doing. These efforts often stem from a desire to maintain you as a backup supply, ensuring they have someone to turn to should their primary sources of validation fail. For covert narcissists, the fear of abandonment runs deep, triggering a relentless need for reassurance and control. Monitoring your activities serves as a means of lessening their insecurities, even though it’s temporary.

When They’re Not Bothering You

On the flip side, some covert narcissists may opt to move forward without looking back. They may retreat into silence, focusing on their own pursuits rather than fixating on you or your actions. That’s why, it’s crucial to recognize that not all narcissists exhibit identical behaviors after you breakup with them or after they discard you. However, most victims of abuse will always be thirsting to know what they can or cannot do.

Engaging in endless searches for answers, scouring forums for insights into potential behaviors, only serves to continue the cycle of attachment. Even after the discard, the pain persists, intensified by the relentless pursuit of understanding their behaviors. When you spend a lot of time trying to understand them, you’re spending time remembering or you’re getting reminders on people who hurt you in the past. You’ve physically left the relationship but mentally and even your actions in the present moment are geared towards them which simply shows you’ve not really left them.


Here’s the thing, you’re hurting yourself by not facing the pain deep inside and instead choosing to focus on their behaviors after discard. While understanding some of their behaviors after they leave you can be helpful, it shouldn’t be the key factor in your healing journey.

True healing begins with redirecting focus inward, acknowledging and addressing the pain inflicted by the narcissist. It’s essential to acknowledge that you cannot control the actions of the narcissist post-breakup; you can only control your response to them. Establishing and enforcing boundaries needs to become your priority after healing. Once you do that, you will have the solution if they reattempt to re-enter your life or hook you back into the relationship.

Continuously seeking validation or explanations from the narcissist only serves as a distraction from the healing process. The true elephant in the room is the unhealed pain within yourself, stemming from the trauma inflicted during the relationship. While understanding narcissistic behaviors may provide temporary relief, true healing necessitates a shift in focus towards self-care and introspection.

Recognize the cunning nature of the mind, which often seeks to divert attention away from personal growth and towards external sources of blame. In conclusion, while gaining insights into narcissistic behaviors post-breakup may offer some clarity, it is not an answer for healing.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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