Why Your Partner Doesn’t Simply ‘Overlook’ Your Flaws and Weaknesses?

Why Your Partner Doesn’t Simply ‘Overlook’ Your Flaws and Weaknesses? why your partner doesn’t simply ‘overlook’ your flaws and weaknesses?
Photo by Hannah Xu on Unsplash

Today I’ll be addressing a question someone asked: why is it that when you accept all your partner’s flaws and shortcomings, they don’t reciprocate the same acceptance towards your minor flaws? This pattern is a common narrative in manipulative relationships.

In manipulative relationships, the manipulative person often has numerous flaws compared to you. They may engage in inappropriate behaviors, lies, emotional and verbal abuse, and other harmful actions on a frequent basis. However, because you are a caring and empathetic person, you tend to overlook these flaws in an effort to build a healthy relationship. You may even forgive them for their actions from time to time.


But when it comes to your own flaws or minor mistakes, they blow them out of proportion. This is because manipulation thrives on creating a power dynamic where the manipulative person feels superior to you. They believe that they deserve acceptance for their flaws due to past experiences, while you are expected to accept their flaws. They put you on a lower pedestal, and any mistake you make is exaggerated and unforgivable, while their mistakes are watered down and easily forgiven.

This power dynamic stems from their lack of empathy. Manipulative individuals often lack the capacity to understand life from your perspective or to view your flaws with the same loving and caring nature you have towards theirs. They approach life with a self-absorbed and self-centered mindset, lacking the ability to truly understand you on a deeper level.

In manipulative relationships, your flaws become tools for manipulation, used against you to make you feel unworthy and diminish your self-esteem. The manipulative person exploits your vulnerabilities and boundaries to their advantage. This is not a healthy way to build a relationship or to support each other’s growth.


It’s important to recognize that you cannot teach a manipulative person to stop their manipulation. Instead, focus on yourself and your own boundaries. Reflect on what level of behavior is acceptable to you in a relationship. Are you willing to remain in a relationship where you are mistreated and manipulated? It’s crucial to prioritize your well-being and understand that a manipulative person may never truly accept your flaws or support your growth.

In conclusion, manipulation revolves around using your flaws against you, rather than building a healthy and supportive relationship. Look within yourself, understand your own boundaries, and recognize when it’s necessary to prioritize your own well-being. Remember, you deserve a relationship that values and accepts you as you are.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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