Why Your Narcissistic Ex Still Wants You Even When They Have A New Relationship

Why Your Narcissistic Ex Still Wants You Even When They Have A New Relationship why your narcissistic ex still wants you even when they have a new relationship
Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

What normal happens is you might see your narcissistic ex with a new partner, enjoying life, and then that same evening they text you, telling you that they miss you and want to be with you. It’s just confusing because you realize that you’ve just seen them with someone else, but they still want you. So, why would they do that?

The first reason is ego and validation. A narcissist has low self-esteem, and when they have multiple romantic partners, it fulfills their need to feel worthy and loved. Having many partners makes them the center of attention, compensating for their deep feelings of insecurity.

The second reason is supply. A narcissist cannot survive without a constant supply of admiration, validation, and other needs, such as money and emotional support, from others. So, when they keep tabs on you or tell you they still want you, it means they want to keep you around in case their other relationship doesn’t work out, their partner finds out about them, or they get bored with the new partner. They see you as a backup supply.


The third reason is manipulation and control. Narcissists thrive in an environment where they can create jealousy and triangulation. They want to make you feel like you are competing with their new partner, establishing control in their new relationship. By provoking you and making you want them more, they pit you against each other, successfully manipulating and controlling both of you.

The last reason is the fear of abandonment. Narcissists have a deep fear of being rejected or abandoned. When they move on to a rebound relationship, it exposes the wounds they are running away from. They need you as a backup, always keeping options open in case they are rejected or want something else. By staying in touch with you, they ensure they have a backup supply.

Regardless of their actions, if you feel mixed emotions when they show interest in you again, it means you are not doing the necessary work in your healing journey. Dealing with an abusive person requires keeping away from them because their job is manipulation and abuse. If you still feel the desire to make it work, it suggests there are aspects of yourself that need to be addressed to break free from toxic relationships and emotionally unavailable partners. Working on yourself is essential to overcome the pull of the past and abusive effects.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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