Why You Find It Really Hard to Trust After Abuse

Why You Find It Really Hard to Trust After Abuse why you find it really hard to trust after abuse
Photo by Joshua Hoehne on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of why you find it hard to trust anymore after being in an abusive relationship. I’ll explain the logical aspect of it and the deeper aspect as well. The main reason you find it really hard to trust anymore is because those people you trusted, whether it’s your partner, your parent, or your friend, betrayed you. Trust is the feeling that others can be relied on, and when those you relied on betray you, your trust is broken. When those closest to you betray you, you will tend to generalize that other people are not to be trusted as well.

Logically speaking, trusting other people may seem difficult, but there’s something far beyond trusting others; it’s about trusting yourself. It’s about trusting that you can maintain your boundaries, understand how people should treat you, and keep yourself safe from being taken advantage of. When those boundaries are breached, it leads to self-doubt. Trust, in some level, may begin with trusting others to treat you well or be reliable, but it fundamentally starts with trusting yourself.


When others hurt you, they betray the trust between you and them, but you also betray the trust between you and yourself, which is self-trust. Rebuilding this trust involves going inward, finding peace with yourself, and coming to terms with the pain you felt or subjected yourself to in the past. While that pain was caused by those you trusted, it was also caused by your actions at that time. You may not have had control over most of the actions but you will still interpreting on a deeper level as you should have done better to stop them from harming you.

Working on this pain brings you to a point of loving alignment with your present self. Your past doesn’t dictate your current actions, and your trust isn’t reliant on past betrayals. Trust becomes about being reliable to yourself. When you’re reliable to yourself, you understand that while others, including family, may betray you, it doesn’t mean everyone is untrustworthy. Cynicism and a total lack of trust in everyone often stem from past experiences.

As you work on resolving your past, you realize that the only one you can truly trust is yourself. You also learn to trust others while understanding that they may betray you, and that doesn’t make them entirely untrustworthy. Trust begins with self-trust, not with finding trustworthy people. You may encounter trustworthy people or individuals with no intentions of harming you, but due to the inner compass of trust being broken in the past, you might interpret that they will still find a way to harm you. This is one of the reasons why you should avoid relationships early on and focus on rebuilding your self-trust or that deep belief in yourself before considering building trust in another human being.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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