Why You Feel You Will Never Find Love After Experiencing Abuse

Why You Feel You Will Never Find Love After Experiencing Abuse why you feel you will never find love after experiencing abuse
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It’s common to think that you will never find love again or that nobody will ever love you when you’ve been in a relationship where your supposed ‘soulmate’ or ‘protector’ did terrible things to you. You may also feel so damaged and believe that there is nothing good left in life, especially after leaving that abusive relationship. This belief can often trap you in that abusive relationship because you fear that leaving means there is nothing good waiting for you outside the relationship.

Assurance May Not Be Enough

Even when people assure you that there are plenty of potential partners out there, it can be challenging to believe them. You might feel that leaving the relationship will only result in loneliness or reinforce the belief that you are so damaged and broken that nobody could ever love you.

This feeling is a typical symptom of being in an abusive relationship. It arises because the people you have trusted and loved, those you have compromised for, have betrayed your trust and mistreated you. When the people you believed in and trusted deeply hurt you, it can lead to the belief that the people in your life will always mistreat you. This negative pattern can develop negative beliefs about your own worth and make you feel unworthy of love.

For example, if you’ve been in a marriage for over 10 years and have constantly been mistreated, your self-worth depreciate. When your value diminishes in your own eyes, you may start feeling unworthy of any kind of love or happiness in this world. As a result, even if someone tells you that good things can be found outside, you might struggle to believe it due to the accumulated negative experiences and beliefs.


Furthermore, if you have experienced mistreatment from your caregivers or grew up in a high-conflict household, you may have been repeatedly told that you are unlovable, unworthy, or not good enough. Internalizing these messages can further reinforce the belief that you are unworthy of any kind of love.

These patterns and constant negative messages get deeply ingrained in your subconscious mind. As a result, no amount of conscious affirmations or reassurances from others may be enough to break the cycle. It becomes difficult to see any good in life and to overcome the belief that you are damaged and unlovable.

Challenge Your Negative Beliefs

However, it’s crucial to understand that these beliefs are not true. They are distortions caused by past experiences and the negative beliefs you’ve internalized. You need to work on dissolving these negative beliefs and reconnecting with your authentic self. It’s about nurturing self-love and understanding that your worthiness of love does not depend on external sources. You are worthy of love simply because you exist.

Remember, you are not so damaged. It’s about addressing and healing the negative experiences and emotions associated with them, so you can rebuild a positive perception of reality. Through this process, you can reconnect with your authentic self, develop deep inner security, and truly believe that you are deserving of love.


In conclusion, the key to finding happiness and love is not solely about finding a healthy partner who will love you. Instead, it is about rediscovering and nurturing the healthy version of yourself who can love themselves unconditionally.

By focusing on regaining the healthy version of yourself, you can develop self-love, self-acceptance, and a deep sense of worthiness. It involves recognizing your own value, embracing your strengths and weaknesses, and cultivating a positive relationship with yourself. When you love and accept yourself unconditionally, you become less reliant on external sources for validation and happiness.

This inner transformation is essential because it not only shapes your relationship with yourself but also influences the dynamics in your relationships with others. When you love yourself unconditionally, you establish healthier boundaries, make better choices, and attract healthier relationships. You become less likely to tolerate mistreatment or settle for less than you deserve.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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