Why You Feel So Tired and Exhausted after Narcissistic Abuse

Why You Feel So Tired and Exhausted after Narcissistic Abuse why you feel so tired and exhausted after narcissistic abuse
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It’s exhausting to talk and not be heard, to be invalidated, to fight for someone who does not value you. Imagine, working hard, giving your all but you’re still not being appreciated for your efforts. Fatigue and being exhausted are common symptoms of being in an abusive relationship. You’re psychologically and physically depleted.

The fatigue is caused by you giving your all in the relationship without replenishing your reserves. You tried so hard to impress and satisfy your abusive partner who kept using you and pushing you to extreme physical and psychological limits. You literally worked tirelessly, walked on eggshells while trying to make them happy.

The other thing is you’ve neglected taking care of yourself because you feel that there’s no point of doing it. When you don’t take care of yourself, you may skive some meals or even overindulge in unhealthy meals which further saps out your energy. You’re also stressed and you don’t have the appetite to even take a bite or have a consistent meal routine. You may also adopt some unhealthy habits which make you tired like overindulging in nicotine, caffeine or alcohol to numb and cope with the emotional pain you’re going through.

You’ve neglected hitting the gym and even going out just to stretch or take a walk is such a huge struggle because you feel that you don’t matter. You think so because that’s what you were used to when you were in that relationship. You were used to being invalidated and being called names which make you feel you’re not even good enough to take care of yourself.

You may also be afraid of stepping out of that house because of being triggered by all those around you and you do feel that the only safe space for you is to just stay indoors and overindulge in social media or online learning about narcissism. These further keeps you glued to your chair or your bed when the thing your body needs is some movement to stretch those muscles.

You’re also not getting enough sleep because the moment you put your head down that pillow, your mind starts racing with 1000 thoughts per hour and you even experience nightmares which make you sleep-deprived. You may be thinking about what you could have done better or you’re trying to find reasons for why the relationship turned out that way even after you sacrificed and compromised most of your life to save it.

The thoughts which just have no immediate answers are keeping you awake and when you sleep you end up waking up late which makes you even more fatigued and exhausted. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body doesn’t get the 7–9 hours needed for it feel fully rested. All this will make you exhausted.

Another thing is because you’re constantly watching out for triggers, you’re so hypervigilant in all the steps you take throughout the day. You are constantly looking over your shoulder or you feel chills down your spine when your phones rings because you just don’t feel safe. When you’re constantly scanning or monitoring your environment, you’re always on high alert and your body doesn’t get a chance to rest leading to more fatigue and exhaustion.


The other kind of exhaustion you have to face is in instances where you were married to the narcissist and you’re now preparing for the final battle for child custody or finalizing the divorce process. The thoughts of having to deal with someone who cannot just understand and let you go is so exhausting and you feel you’re just entangled in a web which you can’t seem to get out of. Every interaction with them doesn’t always end up being a normal simple conversation. It’s triggering and they may take you round in circles as you try to finalize on the next steps.


What makes you even more tired and overwhelmed is if you were involved in some kind of financial abuse in the relationship and they left you with no penny or even with debt. So, you know have to toil and moil so that you can getter enough resources just to keep you away from going to the streets or even to supply yourself with the basic needs. It’s quite hectic trying to look for a job when you’re stressed, lack the focus and concentration in life. You don’t even know where to start and how you’re going to manage all this on your own.

You may feel resigned to just give up, but there’s still that little spark in you that feels you still have what it takes to get out of this. That’s the spark that will ignite an inner revolution in you to do the work so that you can get out of this web. Focus on that and you will dig yourself out of this. Leaving the relationship physically is just a great step in the right direction but now is the time where the actual work begins, which is you going inwards and healing the damage people have caused in your life.

So, if you feel overwhelmed and exhausted after leaving an abusive relationship, the best thing you can do is to first accept that it’s going to take some work for you to get your life on track and regain your energetic self. Depending on the situation you’re in, don’t focus on planning for like 20 years ahead but first focus on how you can take care of the small things in your present life (like, catering for your basic needs, ‘forcing yourself’ to get consistent sleep, having a roof over your head, eating healthy meals etc.)

Once you take care of yourself and do the inner work, you’ll be releasing the emotional baggage from the past off your shoulders as well as healing what’s being triggered which will immediately make you feel less exhausted. You’ll start having better clarity in life, getting better sleep, feeling more productive which in itself brings about a renewed sense of energy and belief in your life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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