Why You Feel Heaviness in Your Heart After Leaving an Abusive Relationship?

Why You Feel Heaviness in Your Heart After Leaving an Abusive Relationship? why you feel heaviness in your heart after leaving an abusive relationship?
Photo by Ryan ‘O’ Niel on Unsplash

Why is it that you feel so heavy or you feel like there is much burden in your heart especially when you’ve not really worked on your stuff after leaving an abusive relationship?

In reality, the heaviness you experience is a result of the emotional baggage you carry. It’s like lugging around a load of emotions, resentments, beliefs, identities, and thoughts accumulated from past experiences. These unprocessed memories weigh you down, leaving you feeling burdened internally, much like carrying a tangible, heavy load.

So, it’s no wonder you often feel exhausted. You might wake up tired, go to bed tired, even if your job isn’t physically demanding. This fatigue stems from never truly allowing yourself to rest on a deeper level. How could you when you’re carrying such a heavy emotional load?

Each day, when something happens, instead of processing or releasing the emotion, you find yourself justifying it. You might interpret events as personal attacks or convince yourself that you don’t deserve happiness. This deep-seated belief that you’re unworthy of a break or a joyful life leads you to hold onto negativity. Thus, the heaviness in your heart isn’t necessarily from heartbreak but from this cycle of self-doubt and justification.

Actually, when we talk about heartbreak, we normally think as if it is something that was really shattered in your life. No, it’s not really that way. It’s just that. You’re not letting go of all your past experiences, you are holding on to them and you hold on to these past experiences not because you want to but because you held on to them at some point and it benefited you, held on to that relationship because it benefited you because it was offering some sort of acceptance, some sort of validation or some sort of approval.

So when you hold onto things which benefit you it will get to the point where you are still holding on to it but it’s now benefiting you but on a negative level like it’s benefiting what you believe about yourself. As long as you keep holding on to those things you will feel heavy.

That’s why healing is giving yourself a break. Healing is like telling yourself, “Hey, I need a break from all these things which I’m still carrying within my heart. I need a break from all these feelings of bitterness I feel towards my ex or towards my parents for what they did to me. I feel I need a break from these unseen or invisible things which are weighing me down.”

That’s why one of the common signs of healing is feeling lighter. It’s like a burden has been lifted from your shoulders or your heart, even if you can’t quite articulate it. Even when life seems uneventful or like there’s nothing much going on, you still feel this sense of lightness, a relief from the weight you once carried.

You reach a point where things don’t weigh on you as heavily, and they don’t drain your energy as much. Even simple tasks become easier to handle; you just do them without feeling overwhelmed. Even when faced with difficult tasks, you manage them better because you’re engaging with them as your present self, not as a reflection of past burdens.

Healing involves letting go of the baggage that slows you down in life and relationships. It’s about releasing what’s holding you back so you can move forward with greater ease. Allow yourself to feel and process so you can shed the weight of the past and travel lighter on your journey. You deserve a break, you’ve been carrying a lot.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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