Why You Feel Guilty Because You’re Happy After Leaving An Abusive Relationship

Why You Feel Guilty Because You’re Happy After Leaving An Abusive Relationship why you feel guilty because you’re happy after leaving an abusive relationship
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of why do you feel guilty when you are happy or when things are going your way after leaving in an abusive relationship. This is actually a very, very common scenario. After you leave that relationship, you may find yourself having opportunities, like a new job opportunity, or even finding a ‘healthy’ or a better relationship, or people coming into your life who are supportive, and you really feel that life is amazing. Or you might find that your kids are respecting you, and life seems to be going really well. But in some sense, you feel guilty that you’re happy or you feel that you’re a bad person for enjoying the pleasure of life. Why do you feel that way?

Actually, the main reason why you feel guilty because you’re happy is because deep inside, you’ve been conditioned or wired to believe that you are undeserving of that happiness. This wiring and conditioning happen because of the things you’ve been through in the past. During that abusive relationship, your partner didn’t cheer you up when you were making progress or validate you when you were doing something positive. They would always put you down, call you names, ridicule your successes, or make sarcastic comments about the things you’ve achieved. This could also come from family or friends making sarcastic comments about your achievements. You tend to internalize these as part of who you are, leading to the belief that you are undeserving of good things in life or happiness.

When you deeply believe that you are undeserving of being happy, it means that anytime you are happy or things are going your way, you will tend to feel that it’s not for you. No matter what’s happening, as long as deep inside you believe that you are undeserving of happiness, you will feel guilty because you’ll think it’s a bad thing to be happy. You may even feel that It’s a selfish for being happy when others around you are suffering.


To break free from this, you have to work on challenging those negative beliefs. Challenging these beliefs means questioning why your happiness should be dictated by other people’s happiness. It’s easier said than done, but with good therapy, you can work on transforming those beliefs. Without transforming them, you may feel that an unhappy life is what you deserve, and happiness is not for you. Once you transform these negative beliefs, you’ll feel deserving of success, a good career, a healthy relationship, and all the positive things in life. Feeling guilty is normal, but it’s a sign that you need to go deeper and work on those subconscious negative beliefs or that distorted inner belief system.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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