Why You Feel Emotionally Detached and Emotionless After Abuse

Why You Feel Emotionally Detached and Emotionless After Abuse why you feel emotionally detached and emotionless after abuse
Photo by Ian Kiragu on Unsplash

Feeling emotionless is a common symptom for many people who have been in an abusive relationship. It can make you feel like you’re just going through the motions of life without experiencing any emotions or pleasure. Sometimes, you may even find it difficult to cry or connect with your emotions.

It’s important to be aware that this emotional detachment is a defense mechanism that your mind employs to protect you. When you’re in emotionally challenging situations, such as experiencing abuse, your mind tries to shield you from the overwhelming emotions by suppressing them. For example, if someone is constantly insulting and invalidating you, expressing your anger or sadness might feel impossible because those expressions can be used against you.

Temporary Relief

Suppressing your emotions may temporarily serve as a way to cope in the moment. It may make it seem like the hurtful words or actions don’t affect you as much, creating a sense of emotional numbness. Your mind tries to protect you by making you emotionally detached in order to survive in that environment.


However, it’s important to note that this emotional detachment doesn’t reflect your true self. Even though you’ve suppressed these emotions, they don’t disappear completely. They remain within you as unresolved emotions, and this is what we refer to as trauma. Trauma occurs when emotions from past experiences remain unprocessed.

For example, if you were abused as a child, you might not have had the opportunity to fully express those emotions or receive proper guidance on how to navigate them. When you suppress these emotions, they continue to exist within you and shape your beliefs. You might deeply believe that being emotionless is the best way to stay safe in life.

Once you leave a traumatic relationship or experience, it’s essential to work on these deep-seated beliefs and the emotions associated with them. If you don’t address them, you may continue to feel pleasureless, numb, and invalidate your emotions. These emotions can even manifest as physical symptoms like chronic fatigue, pain, or backaches. It’s because your body still holds onto those suppressed emotions.


The healing process involves looking inward, processing, and releasing those negative emotions that have accumulated or been suppressed due to past experiences. It’s normal to feel emotionless as a protective mechanism, but once you’re out of the relationship, find a safe space to work through those emotions. That’s where seeking support can be helpful.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

Share your love
Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

Articles: 838

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *