Why is it Difficult to smile After Narcissistic Abuse?

Why is it Difficult to smile After Narcissistic Abuse? why is it difficult to smile after narcissistic abuse?
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Today, I’ll be addressing the question of why it is difficult to smile after experiencing abuse. The process of reclaiming your smile or finding happiness again after being in a toxic relationship is not a simple task. It goes beyond merely putting on a happy face; it involves deeply feeling that you deserve to smile.

When you have been in a relationship where you were constantly belittled, manipulated, and emotionally abused by the very people you trusted or loved, you develop emotional scars that run deep within you. These scars manifest in your inability to smile genuinely. Life may feel joyless, and you might experience a sense of constant stress and negativity. The experiences you have endured have shaped negative beliefs about yourself, leading you to believe that you are undeserving of a happy and healthy life.

These beliefs, stemming from past experiences, hinder your ability to genuinely smile. Additionally, you may find yourself triggered by others’ happiness and smiles. Witnessing others’ joy can evoke feelings of jealousy and remind you of what you believe you have lost or can never have. It can be challenging to see others smile or be in happy relationships when you deeply feel that those things are not meant for someone who has endured abuse or gone through terrible experiences.

Reclaiming joy becomes difficult because your belief system has been distorted by the abusive experiences. You have become negative and cynical about life, perceiving it as something filled with negativity. A smile feels elusive, as it does not come from a place of authenticity within you. The authenticity of your joy and happiness has been tarnished by the pain you have endured. To regain your smile, you must address and resolve the pain, trauma, and emotional scars.


Another factor that makes it difficult to smile is the habit of suppressing emotions developed during the abusive relationship. You may have learned to suppress anger, sadness, and anxiety to please your partner or survive the relationship. This habit leads to a sense of emotional numbness, making it challenging to experience any emotions, positive or negative. Activities that used to bring you joy no longer elicit the same response, as you have become detached from your emotions.

It is crucial to acknowledge that we cannot selectively numb negative emotions while retaining positive ones. They are intertwined. If you numb negative emotions, you also numb the capacity for happiness. This numbing effect can contribute to feeling emotionless, despite the pain and hurt you carry inside. Simply putting on a fake smile and pretending to be okay will not bring genuine happiness. Instead, focus on addressing the pain within and working through it.


Rather than fixating on why you struggle to smile, redirect your attention to how you can heal from the pain inflicted upon you. By addressing and letting go of the baggage that is not yours to carry, you create space for genuine smiles to emerge. Honesty with yourself and a commitment to dealing with the pain will pave the way for an authentic smile — one that sparkles with life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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