Why Don’t Other People See The ‘Evil’ In the Narcissist?

Why Don’t Other People See The ‘Evil’ In the Narcissist? why don’t other people see the ‘evil’ in the narcissist?
Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of why not everyone sees the evil or the badness of the narcissist or the badness of that abusive person. The badness here is like, why can’t everyone see their abusive nature? Why can’t everyone see them manipulating others? Why can’t everyone see that they are interfering with others? Why can’t everyone see that they are taking advantage of others? So, why is it that not everyone sees it?

Superficial Charm

You see, something about manipulative people is that they may present this mask of being very good, philanthropic people to the outside world, especially to those they interact with on a less frequent basis. They may post photos on social media showing they are happy and involved in projects, doing all these philanthropic things in the world. People see that and think, “Actually, this is a very good person. This person is helping the community; this person is helping the kids and even all those other charitable acts.” They present that image, and because we’re used to associating people who do those things as good, we tend to even ignore any allegations made against them and on the positive things they’ve done.

It’s because they present this outer picture. They might also be church leaders. I’ve dealt with those in the past, people dealing with a manipulative pastor or church elder. So, when you hear someone talking about your pastor being manipulative, you’ll think, “No, this person is very good; this person is saved.” It’s because that’s what they present on the outside. Since we are used to seeing what people project on the outer level, we never know the evil on the inside or the manipulative or bad things they are doing behind the scenes. The only one who faces these bad things is mostly the one in a relationship with them.

You might be the victim in this situation, but everyone else sees you as the abusive one because the abuser is living their life out there, unbothered. They can hurt you, but when they go out, they’ve gotten used to wearing this mask to the point where it’s normal for them. For you, if you lie today and lie tomorrow, you’ll start feeling like there’s a problem here and you can’t do this again. But for someone who’s gotten used to lying and living this dual aspect of presenting a good picture to others and doing atrocious things at home, it’s a familiar territory for them. They can switch so easily and lie with a straight face.

That’s why you might be facing an abusive person inside your home, but to the whole neighborhood, they are the best neighbor ever. It’s really sad that it can get to that point, but realize that as long as someone is mistreating you, it doesn’t matter if that person is treating a million people well. You are the one feeling the pain, not seeing what they do to others. Saying that actually, why is it that they do good things to others and aside from me? Don’t get stuck there because you’ll find yourself in a loop and you will end up blaming yourself, thinking that you are the problem. You will think that you must be the problem because you’re the only one facing their dark side.

As long as someone is hurting you, it doesn’t matter if they are holy or all those things. If someone is doing something hurtful to you, you are the one who needs to take action. You don’t even need to convince anyone because those people are very persuasive. You cannot out-persuade them. Those people know how to hit those buttons, superficially charming other people. But for you, as long as someone is hurting you, that’s enough to indicate that you need to do something about it. Hope that makes sense, guys. You cannot see their evil because they project a good facade to the public. But when you are at home, they now show their true colors. You might be facing the wrath, and other people are facing the good side. It’s not easy, but it’s up to you to get out of this situation and take care of yourself.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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