Why Do You Lose Yourself in An Abusive Relationship?

Why Do You Lose Yourself in An Abusive Relationship? why do you lose yourself in an abusive relationship?
Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash

Today, I’ll talk about why people lose themselves in an abusive relationship. Losing yourself means you stop doing things you like. For example, you might stop watching the things you used to enjoy, going out, being with friends, or working towards your goals. Eventually, you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. You lose sight of what used to interest you. But why does this happen?

A healthy relationship is supposed to be a place where you grow. You always thought that maybe a relationship would even help you achieve those goals, but because you are in this relationship now, you end up losing everything. You even drop the idea of having that business, that side hustle or building that career.

The first reason is that in a toxic relationship, you’re not encouraged to grow. It’s like a competition where your partner doesn’t want you to become independent. They want you to stay the same because if you become independent, you’ll see their true colors. They slowly take away things from you so you rely on them more. They want you to doubt yourself because if you do, you’ll feel like you have to stay with them. This gives them control over you. They push you away from your hobbies, friends, career, and interests. By doing this, they take control of you, and you end up losing who you are.

Another aspect is that you start doing it to yourself. They make you lose yourself, but then you also start doing it to please them. For example, if you want to pursue a career, but they get angry, you might give up on your career to make them happy. You end up sacrificing yourself, your friends, your hobbies, your interests, and your values just to impress them. You think that if you sacrifice these things, they will love you or treat you better.

The more you do this — year after year — the more you lose touch with who you are. You forget what defines you and you lose sight of your boundaries. Eventually, you become a shell of your former self.

However, it’s essential to realize that if you’re not evolving and thriving in a relationship — whether it’s considered normal or abusive — something isn’t right. If you’re feeling stuck and filled with regret, it’s a sign that things need to change. When you’re achieving great things on your own, it should logically translate into even greater accomplishments when you’re together as a couple. Not just in physical achievements, but in personal growth and fulfillment. So, if you find yourself losing your sense of self within the relationship and failing to progress, it’s a clear indication that the relationship is unhealthy.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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