Why Do You Find Yourself Trapped In An Unbreakable Cycle After Leaving An Abusive Relationship?

Why Do You Find Yourself Trapped In An Unbreakable Cycle After Leaving An Abusive Relationship? why do you find yourself trapped in an unbreakable cycle after leaving an abusive relationship?
Photo by Oxana Golubets on Unsplash

Today I’ll be explaining to why you find yourself trapped in an unbreakable cycle after leaving an abusive relationship?

It’s like hitting a wall when you try to accomplish something — whether it’s sticking to a morning routine, committing to the gym, or maintaining friendships. You start off with good intentions, but after a few days, you find yourself losing motivation and giving up. Even when you try to move on from certain relationships, the sight of them with others triggers feelings of anger and self-blame, trapping you in a relentless cycle that feels impossible to break free from. It’s a loop that’s difficult to explain to your friends or others and you really feel like you can’t escape and you’re about to give up.

Even when you attempt to adopt a positive mindset or make significant changes like relocating or picking up new hobbies, you find yourself returning to the same repetitive patterns. Why does this happen?

It’s primarily because the negative thought loop has become deeply ingrained in your life, almost like it’s a part of your identity. So, no matter how hard you try to strategize or try to get unstuck, you remain ensnared because you’re still operating within the confines of that same negative thought loop.

“You cannot solve a problem from the same level of thinking that created it.” — Albert Einstein

You may desire to break free from this loop, but it’s entrenched so deeply because it has merged with your identity. It’s not just something you do; it’s become a part of who you are. This familiarity breeds comfort, making it incredibly challenging for your mind to envision life outside of this cycle. Your mind questions why you would want to abandon something that’s been a constant for decades, a seemingly safe and familiar space.

Imagine being in a dark room where you know every corner and how to navigate it. Of course, trying to even seek light will be a problem and even when you see glimpses of light, you will reject it because it is not that comfortable and it will even make your anxious or put you in defence mode.

That’s why when you try to change those addictive or unhealthy behaviors, or attempt to leave that abusive relationship, you find yourself being pulled back to the same place. You end up stuck in the same pattern because your mind convinces you that you can’t handle the emotions or challenges of life without darkness. It’s as if your mind is saying, “Just stick with what’s familiar; you can’t handle the light.” In short, you struggle to process these emotions because they unearth ‘inner demons’ you’ve never confronted, making it difficult for you to face them.

So, what choice do you have?

The place to be is to channel every ounce of energy to doing whatever it takes to get out of this dark room even if it will be scary. It will be scary for a few weeks but after that you will realize that that’s how life is supposed to be lived or that’s where life is being lived. Not in a dark room but in a place of light, in a place of freedom and in a place you have choice. Don’t let a dark room be your comfort zone. Healing is getting out of that dark room and making your light your comfort zone.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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