Why Do Narcissists Stay with the Same Partner for So Long?

Why Do Narcissists Stay with the Same Partner for So Long? why do narcissists stay with the same partner for so long?
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One puzzling aspect about narcissists is why they stay in long-term relationships, even though they can be self-centered and manipulative. Many would think narcissists struggle to maintain close “connections,” but in reality, some narcs might stay in a relationship or marriage for a long period of time. That’s why we shouldn’t measure the quality of a relationship solely based on how long people have stayed together; instead, we should look at how people treat one another during the course of the relationship. In this article, I will share some reasons why a narcissist will stay “committed” to a relationship.

1. Narcissistic Supply

Narcissists need a constant source of validation and admiration, known as narcissistic supply. If they have a partner who consistently provides this supply and fulfills their needs for attention and admiration, the narcissist may be reluctant to let go of this valuable source. So, they stay because their needs are being met in the relationship.

2. Fear of Abandonment

Despite projecting a grandiose outer appearance, narcissists often harbor a deep fear of abandonment. This fear stems from their fragile sense of self-worth, which relies heavily on external validation and admiration from others. They may fear being alone because it triggers feelings of emptiness and inadequacy, which they desperately try to avoid. Being in a long-term relationship offers them a sense of security and stability, which keeps them from delving inward and confronting the darker aspects that lie deep within them.


3. Maintaining Appearances

Some narcissists are skilled at presenting a charming and attractive facade to the outside world. This superficial charm allows them to create an image of stability and success, which they believe will earn them admiration and validation from others. Staying in a long-term relationship can be a strategic move for them to maintain this illusion of being a committed and loving partner.

By appearing to be in a stable and loving relationship, the narcissist can bolster their public image and avoid scrutiny or suspicion from others. They may use this facade to gain social approval, financial advantages, or even professional opportunities. The desire for external validation and admiration is a driving force for some narcissists, and they will go to great lengths to maintain the appearance of a successful and happy partnership.

Another thing is the fact that narcissists may use their current “committed” relationship as leverage or a safety net while seeking other romantic partners. Having a seemingly stable and committed relationship can make the narcissist appear more attractive and appealing to potential new partners. They may use their relationship status as a way to present themselves as desirable and trustworthy individuals, capable of forming lasting bonds. This can be particularly effective in luring in unsuspecting individuals who may be unaware of the narcissist’s true intentions.

4. Economic Dependence

Economic dependence can be a significant factor that keeps a narcissist in a long-term relationship. In some cases, narcissists may stay with their partner because they rely on their financial resources, support, or stability. Being economically dependent on their partner allows the narcissist to maintain a certain lifestyle, financial security, or access to resources they might not have on their own. They may be lazy to go to work or to even get a job.

For some narcissists, the fear of losing financial security or facing economic hardship if the relationship ends can be enough to keep them in the relationship, even if it’s dysfunctional or emotionally harmful. They may use their partner’s resources or financial support to meet their own needs and maintain their grandiose lifestyle or image.

Moreover, economic dependence can also create a power dynamic in the relationship that benefits the narcissist. If the partner is the primary breadwinner or has significant financial control, the narcissist may exploit this situation to exert control and manipulate the partner to meet their demands and desires.

Additionally, the narcissist may fear the consequences of divorce or separation, such as losing assets, paying alimony, or facing financial responsibilities that they wish to avoid.


In conclusion, narcissists may stay in long-term relationships for various reasons. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s essential to recognize their manipulative tactics and the toll it can take on your emotions. Prioritize your well-being and consider seeking support to navigate this difficult situation.

Breaking free from such a relationship and setting healthy boundaries is important for your emotional health. It may be tough, but understanding the dynamics can help you regain your self-worth and create a happier future.

Remember, knowledge and awareness are powerful tools to protect yourself from the harm caused by narcissistic relationships. With self-compassion and support, you can navigate through these challenges and find healthier connections that bring mutual respect and happiness.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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