Why Am I Still Physically Attracted to My Narcissistic Ex Even When I Despise Them?

Why Am I Still Physically Attracted to My Narcissistic Ex Even When I Despise Them? why am i still physically attracted to my narcissistic ex even when i despise them?
Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

It’s very common to have conflicted feelings towards your abusive ex, as they’re someone who has had an impact on your life and you may have even shared some good times together. When you’re physically attracted to someone, you feel drawn to them even when you despise them. Physical attraction is a normal phenomenon, and you can be attracted to someone because of the chemistry you had with them, familiarity, preferences, or just some other subconscious desires.

Those aspects don’t fade away even when you despise or hate someone; the attraction can still linger. However, it doesn’t mean that you cannot move on. The healing process often involves grappling with the negative emotions that arise when you realize you’re still attracted to them. It’s normal to feel attracted to someone, even if you don’t want to be with them. But when you resist or deny that attraction, it can lead to inner conflict and resentment. It’s like telling yourself you shouldn’t feel that way, but denying your true emotions

You’re not allowing yourself to truly feel the actual thing that’s happening, which is the physical attraction. That’s why sometimes, when it comes to moving on, no contact or even moving to a different place really helps, because sometimes the power of physical attraction or the chemistry you still had with them will pull you back towards them, and you’ll find yourself sharing the same bed with them or just having those feelings for them.

That’s why sometimes it’s necessary to have that distance, because with distance, those feelings will fade away over time. But don’t be too hard on yourself if you still feel physically attracted to your ex. It’s completely normal, given your shared past experiences and the things you once liked about them. Appreciating certain physical features is also natural. What’s unnatural is the feeling of resentment or despising yourself because of it.

What you really need to work on is the negative emotions that arise. Healing isn’t about eliminating the attraction altogether. Instead, it’s about addressing those negative emotions that surface when you think about, see, or feel attracted to your ex. Once you confront and process those emotions, you may still feel a hint of attraction at times, but it won’t evoke the same negative reaction in you. You won’t hate yourself, but rather see it as a passing feeling. While attraction may fade with time, it’s crucial to focus on working through feelings of anger and resentment so they don’t bother you as much. You can acknowledge the attraction, appreciate their good looks, and simply move forward with your life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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