Why a Narcissist Cannot Simply Just Understand You?

Why a Narcissist Cannot Simply Just Understand You? why a narcissist cannot simply just understand you?
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Why is it so difficult for abusers or toxic individuals to understand basic things like empathy and care? Many people have shared their frustrations about trying to explain these fundamental concepts to such individuals, but they just don’t seem to comprehend. Some may even start questioning themselves, thinking they need to be better communicators or partners to make them understand. However, there are several reasons why abusers struggle to grasp these concepts.

The first reason is a lack of empathy. Abusive individuals often lack the ability to understand and consider the needs of others from their perspective. They prioritize their own needs and fail to truly care about where others are coming from. Empathy is crucial for understanding and connecting with others, but abusers generally struggle in this area.

Secondly, abusers tend to be self-centered and believe they are superior to others. Their focus is solely on fulfilling their own desires and meeting their own needs. Consequently, when you try to explain something to them, they may dismiss it because they see themselves as superior and may not value your perspective or insights.


Another contributing factor is their fragile self-esteem. While abusers may project a false sense of self-confidence, deep down, they harbor insecurities and fear facing their own flaws and weaknesses. When you attempt to make them understand, they may perceive it as a threat to their self-esteem. They are not comfortable confronting their shortcomings, and thus, they may reject or dismiss your attempts to enlighten them.

Denial is also prevalent among manipulative individuals. They excel at evading responsibility and avoid taking ownership of their actions. When you try to make them understand, it would require them to acknowledge their wrongdoing, something they are reluctant to do. Instead, they deflect, deny, and become defensive, as they don’t want to be held accountable for their behaviors.


Lastly, many abusers lack self-awareness and have a distorted worldview. They see the world through a skewed lens and struggle to perceive things from a rational, empathetic perspective. They may not even realize the harmfulness of their actions, as they’ve been engaging in manipulative behaviors for a long time and consider it a normal way of life. Consequently, no amount of explanation may make them comprehend the impact of their actions. Their abusive ways are serving them, so they don’t really feel the need of checking them.


Instead of exhausting yourself in an attempt to make abusers understand, it’s important to focus on yourself. Reflect on why you feel the need to explain basic concepts to someone who lacks the capacity to understand or empathize. Understand that there are people out there who will manipulate and have different perspectives, and it’s your responsibility to establish and enforce healthy boundaries. By working on yourself and setting those boundaries, you can protect yourself from being taken advantage of.

Remember, your job is not to make others understand, but rather to understand that not everyone will share your perspective or values. Focus on your own growth, develop strong boundaries, and surround yourself with supportive and empathetic individuals. By doing so, you can create a healthier and more fulfilling life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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