When Your Parents ‘Loved’ You So Much but Still Ended up in A Toxic Relationship

When Your Parents ‘Loved’ You So Much but Still Ended up in A Toxic Relationship when your parents ‘loved’ you so much but still ended up in a toxic relationship
Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash

There are lots of reasons why people find themselves in unhealthy relationships. While figuring out why you got into one might not be essential for healing, it could help you understand how to improve your parenting skills or lifestyle choices. This can prevent you from attracting similar toxic relationships in the future.

Common reasons often involve not receiving enough love or validation as a child, or having emotionally neglectful parents who may not have shown enough affection for various reasons. Now, someone in a toxic relationship might try to analyze their past. They might find that their parents were always present, providing love and care to the extent that they might have felt ‘spoiled’ by their affection. However, despite this upbringing, they still ended up in a toxic relationship.

While growing up in an overprotective or overly loving household doesn’t guarantee attracting a toxic relationship, there may be unconscious factors that lead someone towards an abusive relationship. Understanding this can help you draw inferences and realize that sometimes, showering a child with excessive love may actually spoil them rather than fostering autonomy. This is the main reason why being in an overprotective household may increase the likelihood of ending up in a toxic relationship.

The more you are overly sheltered as a child, the less you develop independence. You become dependent and don’t face challenges on your own, relying on your parents to make decisions for you. When it comes to setting boundaries, you may not even know how because your overprotective parents set them for you instead of teaching you to establish and maintain boundaries yourself. You may have never been allowed to express frustration or anger, as you were always showered with ‘love’. Without the space to express yourself, you won’t learn to be assertive and speak up for yourself.


When you can’t speak up, strong personalities may ignore you, making it easy to attract those who treat you differently. When you’re overprotected, it’s like getting too much emotional attention, while parental absence leaves you feeling lacking, which is similar in some ways. Without understanding yourself or having autonomy, you may disregard your own needs. So, being overly loved has its downside as well, and it may ruin the autonomy or the sense of independence of your child.

But as I’ve mentioned, do not focus too much on how it might have started because without a proper investigation, it will only be a time-consuming loop where you arrive at a conclusion based on your current self-perception. Instead, focus more on what you’re doing in the present to break free from these patterns and what you will do in the future to avoid them altogether. Consider what you are doing now to understand yourself on a deeper level. What steps are you taking to find yourself?

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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