When Your Narcissistic Ex Treats Their New Supply Better Than You

When Your Narcissistic Ex Treats Their New Supply Better Than You when your narcissistic ex treats their new supply better than you
Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

It can feel like a slap in the face — your narcissistic ex who once devalued and discarded you is now showering their new partner with attention, gifts, and experiences you could only dream of. You might watch in confusion as they take this “new supply” on romantic getaways, buy them lavish presents, and put them on a pedestal always singing their praises. They might be going with them to these places they didn’t want to go with you or just doing things which they didn’t do to you.

To make it even more puzzling, once you find out who the new supply is, you’ll be like, “Whaaat! Weren’t they just badmouthing this person to me a few months ago? Calling them crazy, unstable, and telling me to stay away from them?”

This will leave you surprised and confused, better even at the thought of what’s really going on. Actually, what you’re witnessing is them going through their idealization-devaluation cycle with their new source of what they crave most — excessive admiration and control.

See, to a narcissist, new partners represent a blank canvas to try and finally get that never-ending validation and ego stroke they so desperately need. So in the beginning love bombing phase, they will quite literally put this new supply on a pedestal, showering them with over-the-top affection, future-faking, and painting them as their one true soulmate. This isn’t real love, but rather grooming tactics to secure a fresh, obedient source of supply for their narcissistic needs.

That’s why, just months ago, this “soulmate” may have been the villain in their story when they were still devaluing you to keep you in their back pocket. Narcissists constantly pit sources of supply against each other through deception and triangulation. So the person being badmouthed and devalued yesterday, is today’s ideal romantic partner if it serves their selfish agenda.


It’s an endless cycle of building new supplies up, then tearing them down once the devaluation stage kicks in. The things they do have little to do with the actual person receiving the attention, and everything to do with the narcissist’s desperate attempts to fill the endless void within themselves.

So while it’s perfectly natural to feel envious watching them bend over backwards for this new partner after giving you mere crumbs, don’t take it as a reflection of your worth. Whether you were put on a pedestal or not, the narcissist’s facade of intimacy was always fated to turn toxic as they inevitably devalued your humanity to amplify their false self.

The person receiving those romantic efforts today will unfortunately experience the other side of devaluation and discard if they don’t figure it out early enough. That’s how sad it is. You may think that you’re missing out or there must be something wrong with you because they couldn’t take you to those places. But even if they did take you, it would not have made the relationship any healthier.

Rather than anguishing over not receiving what they’re dishing out temporarily to their new catch, have gratitude that you got off the soulless idealization-devaluation merry-go-round. You don’t want to be the recipient of their fake, degrading affections anyways. Instead of being fixated on them and their new supply, use that energy to really work on you because that’s what you deserve in life. Keeping tabs at them is tempting but it’s also a distraction from you see the wounds deep inside you. The only way is to work on the pain.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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