When do you lose interest in your narcissistic Ex?

When do you lose interest in your narcissistic Ex? when do you lose interest in your narcissistic ex?
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

How do you lose interest, or how do you become uninterested with your narcissistic ex, or when do you begin to show this lack of interest? By lack of interest here is like they don’t bother you anymore. You can think about them, but it doesn’t bother you anymore. It’s still there.

Losing Interest by Avoiding your Emotions

The first instance is where you really avoid facing your emotions or where you really live in this state of denial. This is where you convince yourself… and it’s a very common trap into which most people fall when they’re in the healing journey or after leaving an abusive relationship. You may convince yourself that they are now of the past, that you don’t even think about them anymore, or even swear that you will not even go back again or that you’re choosing to stay single forever.

So this is the first aspect where you are remaining uninterested. But not because you are uninterested, it’s just because you are lying to yourself. You are trying to deny the reality of you still having an interest in them or still wanting them back or still thinking about them. So you’re just pushing everything aside.

So it’s like you are psyching yourself up to feel better. And it’s actually a very dangerous place to be in your healing journey.

Because the more you lie to yourself in your healing journey, the more you are letting the past have a grip on you because your present are more of a reaction or a fear response to the reality of you wanting them back. And that will really prevent you from healing then because you will be living in this illusion where you think you are okay, you think you are moving on, you think you are healing, you think now you are unbothered or emotionally neutral towards them, but you are actually not emotionally neutral because all those things you are doing are reactions to what they did to you.

Actually, most people in their healing journey get so stuck at this step of trying to convince themselves that they’ve moved on, but yet on a deeper level, when you are lying in bed at night wanting to sleep, all you think about is them.

In short, in the first instance, you’re just deceiving yourself that you’ve really moved on or you are truly uninterested. Yet, you are just reacting or you are simply suppressing your emotions, keeping them down, or avoiding the uncomfortable emotions.

Truly Uninterested

The other instance is where you really face the uncomfortable emotions. This is where you would like to be now. This is where you understand that there is no such thing as forgetting; you cannot forget someone. Sometimes something can remind you of them. For example, you may see a car that resembles your narcissistic ex’s car. Or you may still be living in the same town and see them. Sometimes you may just be scrolling across social media and see them.

But in this instance, where you truly confront your uncomfortable emotions, you encounter all those reminders. You can understand that this is just how life is, this is reality. Instead of running away from it, these reminders and emotions that arise from remembering don’t bother you as much. They don’t throw you a shade in your life, an emotional spiral, or make you go haywire with your emotions.

You simply remain unbothered. And sometimes you may feel sad, but the sadness will not linger for a week, a month, or a year. It may just last for a few hours, and then you are back to reality. However, you are acknowledging those emotions. You are not disregarding them and saying, “No, I should not feel sad.” How can I feel sad because the person was abusive? How can I think about them? No, you just understand that memory is memory, and thinking about them is just part of the process.

It’s just part of your healing journey, and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to affect you negatively in the present moment. In fact, you can draw inferences from it and feel like, “Hey, I’m thinking about them, but at least I’ve moved on. At least I’ve really worked on myself. At least now I’m doing better. At least it’s getting better.” It’s so much better to reach a place where you acknowledge the interest you’re having towards them instead of denying it.

Your Mind Likes it When You Deny

Because where your mind wants you to be or how you currently perceive yourself wants you to be is the place where you are denying. When you deny, it’s like you’re in this state of self-preservation. You are just getting stuck and staying comfortable where you are. But when you acknowledge, it’s like you’re acknowledging that you want to work with and grow out of the pain.

Conclusion

So, there are two scenarios: the scenario where you suppress, avoid, and deny, and the other scenario where you accept and deal with your issues, acknowledging that, hey, we can never forget about the past, but we can heal from it. Or we can live a life where the past doesn’t have to have power over the present moment. It’s like coming to terms with what happened in the past and not letting it define you.

https://biiedwin.gumroad.com/l/MasteringPersonalBoundariesCourse?_gl=1*et9czc*_ga*MTkxNjcxMDU2NC4xNjg1MDA1MjYw*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*MTY5ODczNDU3OC4yMjQuMC4xNjk4NzM0NTc4LjAuMC4w

That’s how you become uninterested or emotionally neutral towards your ex or towards anyone who’s ever hurt you. It’s about coming to terms with the things they did to you, not with them or not blocking them. No, it’s coming to terms with the actions they did by accepting yourself as you are and understanding that the past is the past, but you are here now, you are healthy, you are learning, you are stumbling. But all that is part of your journey.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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