What Do You if Your Partner’s Harmful Behavior is ‘Unintentional’?

What Do You if Your Partner’s Harmful Behavior is ‘Unintentional’? what do you if your partner’s harmful behavior is ‘unintentional’?
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Today, I’ll be addressing the question of what to do if your partner’s harmful or toxic behavior is ‘unintentional’, stemming from their deep insecurities or past experiences. It’s a great question that reflects your caring nature and empathy towards your partner. You may genuinely believe that you understand and want to care for them, attributing their behavior to their past or insecurities. However, it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being in this situation.

Ask yourself, who is taking care of you? You must acknowledge that caring for someone else while neglecting yourself is futile. Before tending to others, you must take care of your own needs. You are the one living in your body, experiencing your emotions, and dealing with the stress. Although you may think that taking care of your partner is your responsibility, it’s often just a distraction from addressing your own deep insecurities and vulnerabilities.

Enabling Your Partner’s Abusive Behavior

When you prioritize taking care of your partner to the exclusion of addressing their abusive tendencies, you inadvertently enable and empower their harmful behavior. Enabling occurs when you consistently support or make excuses for their actions, shielding them from the consequences and responsibility of their behavior. By doing so, you send a message that their abusive actions are acceptable or justified.

By not holding them accountable for their actions and urging them to seek professional help, you allow them to evade responsibility for their own life. Remember, it’s not your role to fix them.


Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help

Instead of trying to rescue your partner, encourage them to seek professional assistance and take responsibility for their actions. However, it’s equally important for you to seek professional help and address your own emotional struggles. Relationships should not be built on the idea that you must persevere at all costs. Challenging these deeply ingrained beliefs and focusing on your own growth can be difficult but necessary.

It’s crucial to establish boundaries and determine what you will not tolerate in a relationship. Regardless of whether the harmful behavior is intentional or unintentional, you need to recognize your own limits or acceptable behavior. Accepting mistreatment or being taken advantage of is not healthy or sustainable. It’s important to address both the intention behind the behavior and the action itself. If the behavior is abusive, it needs to be addressed and acted upon.

Don’t get caught up in justifying their behavior as unintentional. Instead, reflect on why you accept being mistreated or taken advantage of. Take responsibility for your own well-being and start making positive changes from there.


Remember, compassion for others cannot come at the expense of neglecting yourself. It’s important to break free from negative thought patterns and prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Focus on taking full responsibility for your own life, and encourage your partner to do the same.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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