Toxic Relationships: When Your Abusive Ex Marries Your Best Friend?

Toxic Relationships: When Your Abusive Ex Marries Your Best Friend? toxic relationships: when your abusive ex marries your best friend?
Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

Hey guys, today I’ll be explaining what to do when an abusive ex starts dating your friend. This is a very challenging situation. Let’s say you have this best friend, and of course, because someone is your best friend, you expect them to be there for you or to be by your side all the time, with the ups and downs. Then you realize that once you leave the relationship, you might find out that your best friend was probably sleeping with your ex. To make it worse, let’s say a few years later, they end up getting married, and your best friend knows that this person is abusive. Then you’re there, like, “Oh, that’s huge. How do you deal with this?”

Actually, that’s when you start realizing that everything has to start with you. Yes, you’ll feel betrayed by your best friend, and you also feel betrayed by your ex. But ultimately, it comes down to you. It’s really hard to come to terms with this, but what you’ll realize is that your best friend or that person you thought was a friend may have been manipulated by your abusive ex as well. Toxic people are very skilled at manipulation, to the point that they can manipulate even your best friend to be with them. They might also tell or convince your best friend that you were the one who was abusive and even present ‘clear and believable’ evidence, and your best friend might believe them. The other thing is, you might start realizing that maybe you didn’t have a best friend; maybe you were just dependent on one another.

So instead of beating yourself up or trying to convince your best friend of what happened, or trying to win them over, because they were your best friend, focus on yourself. If you try to win your best friend over or convince them to leave the abusive relationship, it probably won’t happen. They might even see you as the crazy one trying to ruin a good relationship. Instead of focusing on them, come back to yourself. Yes, you’re feeling a lot of pain and a sense of double betrayal, but if you keep carrying this burden, they’ll be winning because it means they are enjoying their life, and you’re still grieving and writhing in pain. What they did behind your back is not your responsibility; it’s on them. As for you, what you do in the present moment is purely your responsibility.

Instead of focusing on them, allow yourself to grieve, to process these emotions, because with that, you will find something better than the relationship you were in. You’ll find inner peace, which is rare to find outside of yourself. If you come back to yourself and face this pain, you will get to a point where you have inner peace. As you have this inner peace, you’ll also develop compassion towards others. Instead of hating them, you may see that the world is full of manipulative people, and some good people are being manipulated. Deal with your pain; it’s the true measure of what’s happening in your life.

Healing is in you, not in confronting them or talking about it. The pain is the only true measure of what’s really happening in your life. If you’re feeling angry and betrayed, that’s where healing is. It’s not in them, isolating yourself from friends, or looking at friends suspiciously. It’s in you dealing with the pain and healing. Then you’ll start attracting better friendships and realizing that maybe your best friend was not that much of a best friend. It’s painful and hard, but you can overcome it because the pain is in you, not in them.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

Share your love
Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

Articles: 838

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *