Toxic Relationships: How to become indifferent towards your abusive ex

Toxic Relationships: How to become indifferent towards your abusive ex toxic relationships: how to become indifferent towards your abusive ex
Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of how do you feel unbothered or indifferent after experiencing abuse. Being indifferent here means that you can hear people talking about your abusive ex, whether it’s friends, family, or even seeing their photos on social media. You might have thoughts or memories, but you want to feel unbothered, like it’s just a thing of the past. It doesn’t affect how you live your life presently, as much.

The reason you may feel bothered is that even after leaving the relationship, your ex might still be part of your life in some way. This could be through mutual friends, shared memories, or even interactions with family. Here’s how you can work towards feeling indifferent:

Physical Aspect

The logical step is to minimize physical contact. Practicing no contact, not calling or visiting them, helps reduce the chances of being bothered. Engaging less physically helps in the process of moving on.


However, minimizing physical contact is not enough. The crucial aspect is healing the damage caused by the abusive relationship. Your ex might have put your through emotional, verbal, or physical abuse, and these scars are stored inside you. They get triggered when you think about them or encounter something reminding you of them.

To truly become unbothered, you need to address and heal the pain they caused. This involves unpacking and processing the emotions, resentment, anger, and hurt. These emotions, if left unaddressed, can continue to surface whenever you’re reminded of your ex.

Dealing with Suppressed Emotions

While in the relationship, you might have suppressed these emotions to protect yourself. Now, it’s essential to bring them to the surface and process them. By doing so, you free yourself from being triggered by thoughts or encounters with your abusive ex.

Healing on a Deeper Level

Healing on a deeper level means addressing the traumas and underlying issues that the abusive relationship left behind. It’s about overcoming the negative beliefs that those people who you thought cared about in caused in your life. This level of healing ensures that the past no longer holds you back, and the actions of your ex become mere lessons that you’ve overcome.

Becoming indifferent is not achieved by mere avoidance or distraction; it’s about actively working on yourself and dealing with the pain. When you see your ex, you won’t be automatically taken back to the pain you’ve not processed. You’ll view them as another human being, another hurt individual who sees things from a distorted perspective, and their actions won’t affect you deeply or paralyze you in the present moment.

In summary, feeling indifferent involves both minimizing physical contact and deep healing of the emotional wounds caused by the abusive relationship. By dealing with suppressed emotions and healing on a profound level, you gain the ability to see your ex as just another person without being bothered by their actions.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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