Toxic Relationship: When Your Abusive Ex Reminds You of Happy Times?

Toxic Relationship: When Your Abusive Ex Reminds You of Happy Times? toxic relationship: when your abusive ex reminds you of happy times?
Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of what to do when your ex reminds you of the beautiful moments you had together. They might recall your anniversary, wish you a happy birthday, or even send you a gift to reignite positive feelings. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with these gestures, the issue arises when you allow these events to overshadow the reality of how the relationship was.

In long-term relationships, it’s easy to focus on isolated events rather than the overall process. When your ex triggers memories of happy occasions, your mind may lead you into a cycle of hopeful thoughts — maybe they’ve changed, maybe things could be different now. It becomes crucial not to lose sight of the bigger picture, including the instances of abuse and mistreatment.

When your ex reaches out in a seemingly positive manner, it’s essential not to attach excessive meaning to it. Whether you accept a gift or not, avoid interpreting their actions as a signal to reopen communication. Responding to a congratulatory message or engaging in conversation could inadvertently open the doors to renewed contact. This is especially important if you’ve been practicing no contact for an extended period.

Be cautious, particularly when dealing with a manipulative and abusive ex. Anything coming from them, including apologies or reminiscing about shared moments, may have an underlying motive, especially if you haven’t fully healed. Manipulative individuals know how to exploit your vulnerabilities, and responding to their gestures might lead you back into a cycle of abuse.

When faced with such situations, especially if you haven’t healed, resist the urge to communicate with them. Maintain your commitment to no contact and prioritize your own well-being. Remember, they understand how to persuade and manipulate you, preying on your weaknesses. Opening the lines of communication can potentially trap you in another cycle of abuse.

Instead of focusing solely on the significance of isolated events, consider the entire process of the relationship. Evaluate how someone treats you in the long run, as the true essence of a relationship lies in the overall journey, not just specific events. Events are like spikes of dopamine, but the whole relationship process is what truly matters.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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