Toxic Relationship: When They Go Silent When You Try to Express A Concern in A Relationship?

Toxic Relationship: When They Go Silent When You Try to Express A Concern in A Relationship? toxic relationship: when they go silent when you try to express a concern in a relationship?
Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Have you found yourself in instances where when you raise genuine concerns about the relationship, such as their spending habits or messages you find in your partner’s phone, or when you do something they don’t like, instead of engaging in a sober conversation or discussion, they just go silent for a week or even two weeks. They don’t explain anything, they don’t reply, and they may even avoid having dinner, just coming home and going to sleep.

So, why do they do that? When someone resorts to silence or avoids confrontation to sidestep the truths exposed in the relationship, it’s often a form of manipulation called the silent treatment. This is a tactic used to make you feel bad or to dodge addressing the issues at hand. If someone consistently uses silence when you express concerns, it indicates they are evading responsibility or avoiding facing the truth of your concerns

In a healthy relationship, occasional silence might occur, but the next day, the person usually acknowledges it and initiates a discussion. In an abusive relationship, the silent treatment persists, and you end up feeling like the problem. Your genuine concerns are met with silence, making you question if you did something wrong. This manipulation indirectly coerces you into refraining from expressing yourself, as you fear the silent treatment.

In a healthy relationship, expressing yourself might lead to a temporary silence from the other person, but they would come back, acknowledge the concern, and discuss it. In an unhealthy relationship, your concerns are ignored, and you become the problem. This might lead others, or even your partner, to tell you that you’re stressing them too much with your concerns.

If you find yourself in a situation where you raise a concern, and your partner goes silent for an extended period, only to return as if nothing happened, and you’re hesitant to bring it up again fearing more silence, it’s a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. A relationship should be a space where concerns are shared, addressed, and resolved, not a place where issues are pushed aside to fester, causing you to feel guilty or bad about yourself.

It’s important to note that not everyone who practices the silent treatment is necessarily manipulative. Some people may lack the words to express themselves or be avoidant, but this should not be an excuse for avoiding responsibility.

Even if someone struggles to express themselves, they should be willing to listen and take responsibility. I understand that you may want to defend your partner or even label them based on their attachment style. However, responsibility is a personal journey, and we can use various “legitimate” excuses to avoid it. Nevertheless, one must be accountable to oneself. In essence, evading personal responsibility occurs when you either fail to take responsibility or consistently make excuses for someone else.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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