Toxic Relationship: Is It Okay to Keep Tabs with Your Abusive Ex?

Toxic Relationship: Is It Okay to Keep Tabs with Your Abusive Ex? toxic relationship: is it okay to keep tabs with your abusive ex?
Photo by Kawê Rodrigues on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be addressing the question of whether it’s okay to keep tabs on your abusive or manipulative ex. I’ve noticed some people express the desire to know what their ex is up to — whether they’ve changed, if they are in a new relationship, or just to stay informed. It’s a common inclination, as you did share some time together, even if it wasn’t the best experience. However, it’s crucial to consider the potential consequences of this habit.

While it might seem harmless to check their WhatsApp on Instagram profiles or inquire about them through mutual friends, especially when you have ‘good intentions’ or want to check if they’ve overcome some of their addictive behaviors or mental health issues, it’s not a good idea. Even if you believe you’re strong and immune to their influence, it can still have significant negative impacts.

Firstly, the more you keep looking at them, the more they communicate with you indirectly. They may provoke you by posting content that triggers jealousy or highlights the best times you had together. This can deeply hurt, especially if you haven’t fully healed. In the early stages, it’s essential not to engage with their updates and instead focus on your own well-being. They may also subtly communicate with you through social media, playing on your vulnerabilities and convincing you that you’ve lost someone truly amazing. They most post some motivational quotes which are just aimed at get a dig at you since they know you’re watching. Manipulative individuals know how to press your emotional buttons, and when you’re not fully healed, you may find yourself opening channels of communication and falling back into the same harmful cycle.

Even if you believe you’re strong, focusing on them can be counterproductive. Manipulative individuals excel at persuasion, and when you’re vulnerable, lonely, or desperate, it becomes challenging to resist their influence. By focusing on yourself, on your growth, and on addressing your own pain, you’re more likely to break free from the negative patterns.

Don’t waste your time scrutinizing their life, criticizing, blaming, or getting stuck in negative feelings. Instead, invest your time wisely in self-improvement, seeking help, building new connections, and creating a positive future for yourself. It’s not as simple as telling yourself you’re over them; it requires conscious effort and a commitment to personal growth.

In conclusion, keeping tabs on your manipulative ex is unlikely to lead to anything positive. It can result in more hurt, trauma, and negative emotions. Use your time wisely to build a better future for yourself. I hope you find this information helpful.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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