The True Cost of Living of Not Healing and Living with Trauma

The True Cost of Living of Not Healing and Living with Trauma the true cost of living of not healing and living with trauma
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Living with unhealed trauma can be an incredibly challenging and burdensome experience, often taking a toll on various aspects of our lives. Whether stemming from past events, toxic relationships, or unresolved emotional wounds, the true cost of not healing can manifest in profound and far-reaching ways. There are two types of people living with trauma: those who are aware of it and those who simply don’t know about it. This article is specifically for you if you’re aware and know that you need to seek help, but you keep procrastinating or don’t see it as a priority.

“With awareness comes great responsibility. Once you see the truth, you can no longer turn a blind eye to the impact of your actions.”

Something about awareness is that once we realize the need for healing, we cannot fully go back in time and pretend that nothing is hurting deep within us. We might, of course, attempt to distract ourselves or stay busy, but there will always be an aching in our inner being or a hunger to address our wounds.

Have you ever shared a personal fact with a friend, only for them to say, “You should not have brought that up?” This theme is common in our everyday interactions; awareness of our emotional “dirt” disrupts our status quo, leaving us with two options: confront and remove the dirt or choose to ignore it. However, the undeniable truth remains that the “dirt” is there, and acknowledging it is the first step towards true healing.

So, what’s the true cost of living life with these wounds we run away from? What about these wounds we don’t really want to prioritize and face, the wounds that keep us stuck and away from inner peace?

1. Unhealthy Relationships

Living with unhealed emotional wounds exacts a profound toll, with one of the most significant costs being the attraction of unhealthy relationships into our lives. This cost extends beyond just romantic entanglements, as it also seeps into friendships, leading us to unconsciously gravitate towards individuals who exploit us and disregard our boundaries. The unresolved emotional issues we carry can create a powerful magnet that unconsciously draws us towards toxic relationship patterns. We find ourselves entangled in harmful dynamics repeatedly, resulting in emotional pain and constant disappointment in our connections with others.

2. Diminished Well-Being

Unhealed emotional wounds can have a profound and lasting impact on our mental and emotional well-being. When we carry unresolved pain and trauma within us, it becomes a heavy burden that weighs down our spirits. The effects can be far-reaching, leading to struggles with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The constant emotional turmoil hinders our ability to experience genuine happiness and fulfillment in life. It’s like carrying an invisible weight that saps our energy and joy, making it difficult to engage fully in life’s opportunities and challenges.

3. Stagnation and Lack of Growth

Avoiding healing and leaving emotional wounds unaddressed can have a detrimental impact on various areas of our lives, including career growth and pursuit of our passions. When we carry unresolved emotional baggage, it can affect our professional trajectory and hinder our ability to reach our full potential. For example, someone who experienced workplace bullying in the past might develop a fear of assertiveness or avoid taking on leadership roles, thus inhibiting their career advancement.

Additionally, unhealed emotional wounds can lead to self-doubt, lack of confidence, and reduced motivation, all of which can impede one’s ability to pursue their passions and seize opportunities for personal and professional growth. By neglecting the healing process, we risk remaining stuck in old patterns, unable to break free from the limitations imposed by our emotional wounds, and consequently, hindering our overall development and fulfillment in life.

4. Physical Health Impact

The mind and body are deeply interconnected, and the toll of carrying unhealed emotional wounds can translate into various physical ailments. Chronic stress resulting from unresolved emotions can weaken the immune system, making us more susceptible to illnesses and infections. Additionally, the ongoing emotional burden can lead to heightened levels of tension and anxiety, which may manifest as chronic pain in different parts of the body. Over time, these stress-related physical symptoms can compound and contribute to the development of stress-related illnesses, further exacerbating our overall health and well-being.

5. Self-Sabotage

Unknowingly, our deep-seated beliefs about ourselves can act as silent saboteurs, hindering our progress towards success and happiness. These ingrained beliefs, often formed during our early experiences or as a result of past failures or criticisms, shape our self-perception and influence our actions and decisions.

When we harbor feelings of unworthiness or a sense of incapability, we inadvertently limit ourselves, preventing us from seizing opportunities that could lead to personal growth and fulfillment. These self-imposed limitations create a self-fulfilling prophecy, where we unconsciously steer ourselves away from situations that could be beneficial or fulfilling. For instance, someone who believes they are not deserving of love might avoid pursuing meaningful relationships, subconsciously avoiding any chance of happiness in love.

6. Impact on Others

Another significant consequence of carrying unhealed wounds is the potential to unintentionally hurt others, particularly those close to us. The unresolved pain and frustrations we carry can become like a pressure cooker, building up inside us until it finds an outlet. Unfortunately, that outlet might be lashing out at our loved ones, including our children and innocent friends, even though we don’t want to. This behavior often occurs unconsciously, as we channel our inner turmoil onto those around us.

7. Cycles of Repetition

“The cycle ends with you” is a great quote to illustrate your ‘role’ in break those generational curses you adopted from your environment and caregivers. Without actively seeking healing and resolution for our emotional wounds, we risk becoming trapped in a repetitive cycle of negative patterns that can extend beyond our own lives. Unresolved pain and trauma have the power to influence our behavior and decision-making, causing us to unconsciously pass down these destructive patterns to future generations.

Like an inheritance of pain, the cycle perpetuates itself, affecting not only our lives but also those of our children and their children. For example, if a person grew up witnessing unhealthy relationships due to their parents’ unresolved emotional issues, they may unintentionally replicate similar patterns in their own relationships later in life. This cycle of pain can span generations, causing immense suffering and hindering the potential for growth and healing in each subsequent generation.


The narcissist or abuser’s obliviousness or entrenchment in their own worldview may be beyond your control, but what truly matters is your response to the situation. Will you break free from their influence and take charge of your own healing and growth, or will you wait for the abuser to change?

There’s no easy way to work on ourselves; it requires going inward and confronting the pain at its source. Studying books and seeking external solutions may help, but true healing necessitates delving into the same space where the pain was created to break free from its hold. The mind that once developed negative associations with past negative experiences is also the key to your liberation. Healing involves reassuring the mind that you are safe now, acknowledging that past coping mechanisms, while once necessary, are no longer needed.

This deep healing unburdens you from the shackles of the past, allowing you to live a life free from its lingering influence. Embracing awareness, making the conscious choice to go all the way in your healing journey, is a transformative act of empowerment that leads to true liberation and a brighter future.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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