The Illusion of Closure: When the Narcissist Surprisingly Gives You Closure

The Illusion of Closure: When the Narcissist Surprisingly Gives You Closure the illusion of closure: when the narcissist surprisingly gives you closure
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Something you will rarely get after being discarded by a narcissist is ‘closure.’ They leave you writhing in pain as you recount and try to come to terms with what you’ve been put through by your once beloved. Narcs display confusing behavior, making it difficult to grasp their motives and intentions, especially when they unexpectedly offer what appears to be genuine closure. This seeming act of empathy can leave you grappling with mixed emotions and questioning the authenticity of their actions.

Closure is normally an essential part of the healing process after any relationship ends. It provides emotional resolution and allows you to move forward with clarity and acceptance. When a narcissist seemingly offers closure, it can be enticing to the victim, who may yearn for answers and understanding. The narcissist’s ability to provide apparent closure can leave their ex-partner feeling confused and questioning their decision to end the relationship. So, what’s the meaning of a narcissist offering you closure?

1. Maintaining Control

When a narcissist offers closure to their discarded ex-partner, it is often a calculated move to retain control and power over the situation. By seemingly providing closure, they create a sense of emotional dependency in their ex-partner, keeping them engaged and vulnerable.

For example, a narcissistic ex might say, “I know I made mistakes in the past, and I regret how I treated you. I’m sorry about what happened, hope we’ll link up again in future.”

In this example, the narcissistic ex is using a seemingly remorseful and conciliatory tone, acknowledging past mistakes and expressing regret for their behavior. They create the illusion of taking responsibility for their actions and offer a vague hope of reconnecting in the future. While this statement may appear genuine, it aligns with typical manipulation tactics used by narcissists to draw their ex-partner back into their orbit.

By expressing regret and leaving the possibility of future reconciliation open, the narcissist aims to maintain emotional control and keep their ex-partner emotionally invested. This tactic can lead the victim to second-guess their decision to end the relationship and may even give them false hope of a better future with the narcissist.

2. Securing Supply

Narcissists derive their sense of self-worth from the admiration and attention they receive from others, commonly referred to as narcissistic supply. Offering closure after a breakup can serve as a powerful tool for the narcissist to elicit emotional reactions from their victim, keeping them emotionally engaged and vulnerable.

By dangling the prospect of closure, the narcissist can exploit the victim’s emotions and maintain a connection, ensuring a continuous supply of validation and attention. This emotional engagement becomes a means for the narcissist to reaffirm their sense of superiority and control, feeding their insatiable need for narcissistic supply.

3. Protect Their Reputation

Narcissists are deeply concerned about their public image and how they are perceived by others. Offering closure after a breakup can be a strategic move to protect their reputation and maintain a facade of empathy and understanding. By presenting themselves as considerate and willing to provide closure, the narcissist aims to manipulate the narrative surrounding the breakup.

They want to be seen as the reasonable and empathetic party, even though their intentions are often self-serving. This calculated behavior is designed to control how others view them, ensuring that they are not perceived as the “bad guy” in the situation.

The Only Closure is Within

Seeking closure from your narcissistic ex may seem like a natural response to the emotional turmoil caused by the relationship’s end, but it’s essential to recognize that true closure cannot come from them. Narcissists often manipulate and twist the narrative to serve their own interests, leaving you feeling more confused and hurt. Waiting for closure from the narcissist can prolong the pain and keep you stuck with those emotional wounds much longer.

Instead, the path to healing lies within oneself. Acknowledging and addressing the emotional pain caused by the discard is crucial for moving forward. Turning inward and tending to one’s feelings, thoughts, and vulnerabilities is the only genuine closure you need. Anything else is just a distraction from your unhealed parts that always crave your attention. Remember that healing comes from self-compassion and nurturing, not from relying on the empty promises or manipulative tactics of a narcissist.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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