The Discard Phase and Your Breakup with The Narcissist Is an Invitation

The Discard Phase and Your Breakup with The Narcissist Is an Invitation the discard phase and your breakup with the narcissist is an invitation
Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash

We push a lot of those uncomfortable feelings and emotions aside. We push those things we don’t love about ourselves aside. This is mostly because we have been heavily conditioned, or we may lack the inner resources to process those emotions or sit with them. We mask them with relationships, books, work, pleasure, substances, and anything else you can think of.

But what happens in life is that the universe seemingly sends you a message through a major event. It sends you a message that those things we consciously or unconsciously push away never really go away. They just lurk in the dark corners of your mind, waiting for an opportunity, mostly a huge, painful opportunity, to show themselves.

That one opportunity where all your deep insecurities, fears, and wounds will come to the surface. That one instance where all those painful feelings you’ve been burying deep inside is the “discard phase” or when the narcissist abandons you. It’s the instance where they leave you as if you didn’t even matter. To make it even more painful, they discard you, and they immediately jump into a new relationship.

The discard throws you into disarray as all those painful feelings, wounds, traumas, which have been lurking in the shadows, come back to the surface. You experience anger, sadness, loneliness, nervousness, and any other uncomfortable feeling you can think of. Those emotions were there; they are not really new. The relationship only offered a temporary band-aid and an unhealthy distraction from you.

When they show up, it is very painful, but you only have two paths to follow. The first is masking them again, ignoring them again, or jumping into another relationship or chasing revenge fantasies from your narcissistic ex. You literally feel like trash even after sacrificing your life trying to make them happy, and it was all for nothing. You did that only for them to use you and go for someone else. You just want to run away from those feelings, but you know that even if you run from those uncomfortable feelings, you’re still carrying them with you. It’s like being on fire, but instead of putting out the fire, you run with the fire or even sit with the fire.*et9czc*_ga*MTkxNjcxMDU2NC4xNjg1MDA1MjYw*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*MTY5ODczNDU3OC4yMjQuMC4xNjk4NzM0NTc4LjAuMC4w

There’s another path you can take, the path of self-discovery and growth. See the discard phase as an invitation. Look at it as a message from the universe showing you the things that were buried deep inside that you didn’t even know about. One great therapist even said the discard phase should be called the “Discovery Phase.”

You’re discovering some of the things you didn’t know about yourself. You’re discovering some of those unconscious beliefs you’ve been holding about relationships and love. You discover the importance of boundaries and prioritizing yourself. You get to understand those things other people will never get to understand about themselves. You get to have glimpses of why you’re attracting toxic relationships.

It’s more of a chance for you to really and completely work on you. It’s not a punishment; however painful it is, it’s an invitation for you to grow from the pain that was always there, locked deep inside. It’s an invitation to release the baggage you’ve been carrying with you. It’s a fresh start of going and seeing the dangers of your limiting beliefs and your conditioning. It’s the perfect time for you to rise up, work on you, and love you unconditionally. Not all ‘gifts’ come in a silver platter; some may come through the pain you’re feeling. Use it so that you will not feel the pain again.*et9czc*_ga*MTkxNjcxMDU2NC4xNjg1MDA1MjYw*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*MTY5ODczNDU3OC4yMjQuMC4xNjk4NzM0NTc4LjAuMC4w

Walk the path of dealing with your stuff and you will build meaningful connections in life. Others have transcended their dark sides, and the universe is presenting you the opportunity to rise from the ashes of your past pain, trauma and unhealed wounds. Take it and you will find freedom, ignore it and you will be stuck with your pain forever and even attract the same toxic patterns. It’s your call. Love and light.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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