Suicide Watch: Handling Threats of Suicide from Your Ex or Partner

Suicide Watch: Handling Threats of Suicide from Your Ex or Partner suicide watch: handling threats of suicide from your ex or partner

A toxic relationship is where an abuser will go the extra mile to make you meet their needs, and one of those things they might do is make threats. They might threaten to do something harmful to themselves, especially if you don’t do something they’ve asked of you. You may have been giving them money or just letting them use you or walk all over you as they wish, but you’ve reached the point of ‘enough is enough,’ and you start to voice your opinion a little bit. When you start doing that, they now shift to threats, which carry the most guilt, like if you don’t do ABCD for them, they’re going to kill themselves. This is a very heavy threat to receive because you can only imagine what will happen if they do that — the guilt that will follow. As a caring human being, you will be in shock and scared of whether they will really do it.

On normal occasions, when a friend or someone close to you is threatening to commit suicide, you can listen to them, be there for them, and help them stay safe, or simply let them know that you’re there to support them, which is very okay. However, when it comes to someone who’s used to abusing you, that may not work really well because they simply want to exploit you for their own gain.

They want something that, if you give it, will ruin your well-being or make you lower your boundaries, or open yourself to abuse. For example, threatening to commit suicide if you don’t marry them or go back to the relationship. So, that’s not something you are supposed to give them; it’s more like being a ‘martyr’ for someone else to live. You’re throwing away your life to save someone from taking away theirs.

You may Never Know if It’s a Real Threat

It can be hard to discern if it’s a real threat or not, but if your partner or your ex consistently threatens suicide, especially when you’ve not done something or when they want you to do something for them, then that is emotional abuse. They are manipulating and toying with your emotions to use or exploit you for their benefit. Regardless of their intent, this threat is scary, and you might feel like you have to give in to their demands to save a life, which is not the best option. So, what is the best way to handle these threats?

Contact emergency services

If you think they’re in immediate danger, do not try to shoulder the burden by yourself, as you will end up harming yourself. Do not try to convince them or give in to the threat, as you will end up hurting yourself. Do not challenge them or argue with them about their threats or tell them that they’re manipulating you by using those threats because when they feel like you are not taking them seriously, they may hurt themselves just to prove you wrong. What you definitely need to do is contact free suicide hotlines in your country for assistance (find them here). You can also inform someone close to them, like their friend or parent when you cannot reach emergency services.

Stick to Your Boundaries

Do not attempt to handle this responsibility alone as you will end up giving yourself a burden that is too heavy to carry. A suicide threat is something fit for someone or a professional who is fit and equipped with proper tools and has the necessary experience in handling those situations. You may end up making things worse, which will be a lot of guilt to bear. Don’t play the caretaker, even if you’ve done it in the past.

Another thing is you’ve got to remind yourself of your boundaries or what your limits are in these situations. You might care, but you are not responsible or in control of another person’s actions, even if it’s something extreme like threatening to take their lives. You’re not responsible for their emotions; you’re only responsible for your own. They might make comments about how you are responsible for what they’re going through, but you don’t really need to prove anything and stick with that which safeguards your wellbeing.


Someone else can put you in a tough situation with their threats, and it’s not easy dealing with this. But if there’s one thing you can do, don’t take this burden on by yourself. Where you really feel these threats or the feelings of guilt are weighing on you, seek some help to process those emotions. It may not be easy, but at times there’s nothing much we can do than just protecting ourselves and keeping ourselves safe from someone who wants to drag us down with them. Where you can, refer them to necessary channels for help, but if you cannot do that or you don’t want to break no contact, then understand that you don’t bow down to their demands at your own expense.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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