No Contact Rule: Is it Okay to Go No Contact When Your Parents are Abusive?

No Contact Rule: Is it Okay to Go No Contact When Your Parents are Abusive? no contact rule: is it okay to go no contact when your parents are abusive?
Photo by Jacqueline Day on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be addressing the question of whether it is acceptable to cut off contact with one’s parents. Our parents, the individuals who raised us, supported us financially, and are considered our family. Is it okay to go no contact with them? It’s an incredibly difficult question, but the answer depends on various factors.

First and foremost, if your parents are abusive, constantly gaslighting and manipulating you, or using you for their own benefit, then it is absolutely acceptable to protect yourself. Taking care of your well-being and establishing boundaries with your parents is completely justified. You have the right to assert yourself and communicate to them that you will not be available or be subject to their mistreatment. As an autonomous individual, it is not an easy decision to make, but it is okay to go no contact if your parents pose a threat to your self-esteem, autonomy, independence, or even your life.

Undoubtedly, you may experience feelings of guilt and sadness. You might even face condemnation from others, being labeled as a “bad child.” However, as long as you genuinely believe that your parents jeopardize your emotional well-being, it is acceptable to sever ties with them.

Egoistic Approach of No Contact

However, it is crucial to approach the decision of cutting off contact with your parents not solely from an egoistic perspective. Cutting off contact should not be driven solely by egoistic motivations or a desire to distance oneself from any necessary responsibility. Instead, it requires a thoughtful and introspective approach.

Approaching this decision from an egoistic standpoint can lead to a narrow focus on one’s own needs and emotions while disregarding the potential consequences for both parties involved. It’s crucial to recognize that parents, despite their flaws or negative behaviors, are still human beings with their own complexities and struggles.

By going beyond egoism, you can approach the decision with empathy and understanding. This involves acknowledging the factors that have contributed to the strained relationship and considering the potential for growth, healing, and reconciliation. It requires reflecting on the underlying dynamics, unresolved issues, and patterns of interaction that may have led to the decision of cutting off contact.

Use No Contact to Address the Pain

The decision to go no contact with your parents serves as an opportunity to address the pain they have caused in your life. By creating distance, you provide yourself with the necessary space and time to heal and gain clarity. This healing process is crucial in reaching a point where you can see them without the overwhelming influence of pain clouding your perspective.

When parents have inflicted emotional, psychological, or physical harm, the wounds they leave can be deep and impactful. Going no contact allows you to prioritize your own well-being and focus on your personal growth and healing. It is a chance to detach from the toxic dynamics and negative influences that have shaped your relationship with them.

During this period of no contact, you have the opportunity to address the pain head-on. By working through your emotions, seeking therapy or counseling, and engaging in self-reflection, you can begin to understand and process the impact your parents’ actions have had on your life. This process helps to unravel the complex emotions and disentangle the pain from the image of your parents.

Once you have created this space and time for yourself, take the opportunity to reevaluate your relationships. Perhaps what you truly needed were clear boundaries, a way to assert yourself. Starting with the step of going no contact, you can then analyze your connections and determine the best course of action. The ultimate goal is to find a balance between self-preservation and compassion.

Your Sense Obligation is not Love

You must understand that you are not obligated to fulfill certain expectations or obligations toward your parents. The conditioning and societal norms may make you feel otherwise, but embarking on a journey of self-discovery will help you realize that you are an autonomous being with the freedom to choose. Once you have dealt with your own pain and healed, you can approach your parents from a place of compassion.

Remember, compassion cannot be cultivated without delving inward and addressing your own emotional wounds. By resolving the pain inflicted by your parents, you can develop a compassionate perspective and engage with them in a healthier manner. In conclusion, it is okay to go no contact with your parents if they pose a threat to you and your well-being. Eventually, you can assess if this decision is permanent or if there’s room for reconciliation.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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