Narcissistic Relationships: — Why Narcissists Don’t Give Closure

Narcissistic Relationships: — Why Narcissists Don’t Give Closure narcissistic relationships: — why narcissists don’t give closure
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Imagine waking up one day only to find your partner posting photos on Instagram with someone else, illustrating how happy they are in their new relationship. Alternatively, you wake up to discover that your partner has disappeared and ghosted you.

All of these situations can leave you bewildered, caught off guard, and desperately seeking answers from your partner about what’s happening. While you might have suspected that they were cheating and the relationship was toxic, the rapid escalation was likely unexpected. Now, you crave closure to move forward and understand your next steps.

Seeking closure in a relationship involves searching for reasons behind its end to address the painful emotions you’re experiencing. Closure can also be sought to honor the significance of the relationship and the effort you invested in its growth.

So, the question is: can you obtain closure from a narcissistic relationship? Unfortunately, closure is unlikely from a toxic individual. They tend to cruelly discard you without explanations. Additionally, they won’t seek closure themselves, as they likely weren’t emotionally invested in the relationship as you were.

If you do manage to have a “closure talk” with a narcissist, their explanations will likely be vague and nonsensical. In this article, I will discuss reasons why narcissists withhold closure.

5 Reasons Why a Narcissist Won’t Provide Closure:

  1. To Keep You Available for Their Needs

To a narcissist, you serve as a source to fulfill their ceaseless needs. They won’t offer closure, as it signifies the relationship’s end, your implementation of no contact, and closing the door on them. They prefer keeping you in a state of confusion so they can return when it suits them or when their new source of attention runs dry.

Narcissists often avoid closure in multiple relationships to maintain a variety of options to satisfy their self-centered desires. This strategic game involves manipulating their pawns.

2. Indifference to You and the Relationship

A genuine relationship involves mutual sharing and cherishing. However, a narcissistic relationship is one-sided, with you giving while receiving little in return. You invest emotions and time, but they remain as long as their needs are met and boredom doesn’t set in.

Consequently, the relationship holds no significance for them, and ending it is as casual as ending a phone call. Even if your relationship lasted a while, its impact is trivial for them due to their lack of emotional attachment and carefree attitude. Therefore, closure and empathy are foreign concepts to them.

3. Reputation Protection

Narcissists often maintain a façade of being well-liked individuals, admired by those around you. Their superficial charm makes them favorites among your friends and neighbors. Closure is withheld to sustain this image they’ve crafted.

They aim to appear as the one who was pushed away, seeking sympathy and preserving their false persona. By disappearing without closure, they exacerbate the perception that you’re the one at fault, reinforcing their false narrative. Such manipulations contribute to their ongoing pursuit of new victims.

4. Retaining Control and Inflicting Punishment

Closure provides a sense of resolution and freedom, but narcissists prevent this. They derive pleasure from seeing you in distress, perpetuating confusion and stagnation. Witnessing you flourish beyond their scope is intolerable for them.

Discarding you without explanation is a form of punishment, reminding you of their dominance. This tactic is especially intensified if you challenged their control during the relationship. Refusing closure reinforces their superiority and feeds their ego through your desperation for answers.

5. Inadequate Answers to Your Questions

Closure entails receiving comprehensive explanations for the relationship’s course. Questions like, “Why did you hurt me if you claimed to love me?” or “Why did you leave me for someone else?” may arise. Narcissists lack clear answers due to their divergent goals in the relationship.

Coupled with their aversion to accountability, they avoid cornering themselves with explanations. Instead, they vanish, denying you the clarifications you seek. If they do provide answers, they’re often vague, causing further confusion and offering no sense of closure.

Find Closure from Within

Here’s the key: there’s no need to wait for closure from someone who never genuinely cared and merely exploited you. Though understanding the reasons behind a relationship’s end is painful, you possess the power to grant yourself closure.

The closure you truly need from a narcissistic relationship is ending it and initiating no contact. Within yourself, you’ll discover the closure needed to break free from the chains of narcissistic abuse. Don’t anticipate a harmonious ending from a narcissistic relationship; they thrive in chaos and tumult, not peace.

While you cared about them, they viewed you as a means to an end. Recognizing their true nature empowers you to perceive their departure as a precious gift. Remember, closure from a narcissist is unattainable, as the relationship’s essence was never genuine.

A relationship with a manipulative person isn’t truly a relationship, as it lacks mutual effort for growth. We often ignore this reality, hoping for the best but receiving the worst.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.


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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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