Narcissist Supply and What Toxic People Need to Survive

Narcissist Supply and What Toxic People Need to Survive narcissist supply and what toxic people need to survive
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Narcissists thirst for their needs to be met and will go to great lengths to accomplish their goals. That’s why you keep asking yourself questions like, “Why can’t they leave me alone even when they’re in another relationship?” It’s because they want to have reserves and a sense of security to supply their needs.

It’s the same way you might have savings in different banks to keep yourself financially secure in case one bank goes under. A narcissist also has deep insecurities and is constantly on the lookout for how they can securely obtain their supply. In simple terms, narcissistic supply is what a narcissist needs to survive and protect their fragile ego.

It can be admiration, praise, emotional attention, or a physical resource the narcissist gets from anyone they interact with or form a relationship with. They will project a false self at the beginning of a relationship as they build a fortress to meet their own needs. That’s why it’s important to understand what they need to survive, so you can deprive them of it and protect yourself from being tormented and emotionally abused. I will also share some of your undesirable qualities that enable the narcissist to get their supply from you. They will choose someone they can easily manipulate or who can readily provide for their needs.

What a Narcissist Needs to Survive:

  1. Your Attention:

A narcissist wants you to pay close attention to everything they do. They will intentionally seek or create instances where they’re the center of attention to make you focus on them. They crave attention to fill their inner emptiness and as a form of validation that they exist.

They might exploit your sympathy, compassion, or other manipulative tactics to ensure you pay close attention. They will direct all their behaviors towards obtaining these bits of attention. That’s why they might harm you to gain your attention. If you don’t give them your attention, they will persist until you relent.

2. Your Reaction:

Narcissists also need your reactions to their actions or behaviors. They will constantly provoke you in subtle ways until they get an emotional reaction. Your reaction can lead to further abuse and manipulation, making you feel guilty and frightened to the point that you will do anything for them. They may also use your reaction as a tool to discredit you or as evidence of your ‘instability’. They seek your reaction because it weakens you, and it’s a testament to their control.

3. Your Lack of Boundaries:

Narcissists benefit from your inability to maintain boundaries. When you’re unsure of how you deserve to be treated or what you can tolerate in a relationship, you become an ideal target. Without clear boundaries, a narcissist will exploit your resources for their benefit.

If you don’t understand your boundaries, you might inadvertently enable them. By setting and upholding healthy boundaries, you can deprive the narcissist of their power.

4. Your People-Pleasing Behavior:

If you can’t say “no” for fear of hurting others, that’s a trait narcissists will exploit. If you constantly seek to please others at your own expense, it’s difficult for you to stand up to someone, even when they mistreat you. This behavior ensures you continuously cater to the narcissist’s needs. By prioritizing yourself and setting limits, you can resist the narcissist’s influence.

5. Your Low Self-Esteem: A narcissist will prey on your inability to assert yourself. When you lack confidence or feel unworthy, you’re susceptible to their deceptions. They need someone they can easily sway or flatter. Your insecurities are a playground for a narcissist who seeks to maintain superiority. If you bolster your self-esteem, you can stand up to them, making it harder for them to manipulate you.


When we understand what narcissists need and how they exploit certain traits in their targets, we can take steps to protect ourselves. Some narcissists may resort to illegal or unethical behavior for personal gain, so caution is essential. By improving qualities like self-esteem, avoiding people-pleasing tendencies, and setting boundaries, we make it difficult for toxic individuals to influence us. The key is to focus on personal growth and recognize our worth.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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