Letting Go: What is it exactly and Why you just can’t do it?

Letting Go: What is it exactly and Why you just can’t do it? letting go: what is it exactly and why you just can’t do it?
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If you’ve been in an abusive situation, you’ve been told a couple of times by those close to you that you just need to let go. They might have even offered you a place to stay, a job and even everything you need on the physical level just to start over but you still find yourself clinging to that relationship. It’s like being in a sinking ship which you logically know it’s sinking but you just cannot let go and jump into a lifeboat to save your life. You still have a firm grip on that sinking ship which is already filled with water and you cannot even understand why.

Your support network and family are even tired and cannot fathom why you can’t do one of the seemingly ‘easiest’ things, to just let go of something which is hurtful to you. The more they pressure you and ridicule you, the more you feel bad about yourself which further weaken you. When you’re still entangled in an abusive relationship, letting go is one of those triggering words which makes any victim of abuse think of themselves as powerless, flawed and stupid because they cannot do such as ‘simple task.’


Logically, it’s not possible to just let go because the grip is far much deeper than what our logical understanding can comprehend. You might give your all and even go ‘no contact’ but on an inner level you’re still living in that past relationship. You cannot simply let go because those things that you have to let go are providing you with a false sense of comfort and even make you feel ‘connected’ (or ‘loved’).

What is this ‘Letting Go’ Exactly?

Letting go is not actually about logically doing it but it’s more of letting go of all those false beliefs we’ve developed as a result of our past experiences. It’s more of releasing the pain, emotional baggage and the stuck emotions that are preventing us from connecting with ourselves. You might have forgotten about some of those hurtful memories of the past but they’re just compartmentalized in your identity and they’ve been running the show behind the scenes.


All those unhealed traumas are now stopping you from letting go and are keeping you anchored in that painful relationship. They are feeding you with false beliefs like, “If you let go of this pain, you will get hurt again” and so it’s been piling up more and more pain. Your mind is used to holding onto pain as a survival mechanism in life. Your inner pain is like a wall which you use to prevent yourself from getting hurt and those are the walls which you need to destroy so that you can process the pain and just be.

To let go is to release all those unhealed wounds and stuck emotions, we’ve been carrying with us so that we can be unburdened and connect with our inner beings. Once you’re connected, you’ve lifted the anchor (inner pain) which has been keeping you from sailing and living like a free bird. You automatically let go of that narcissist and all those other false beliefs your unhealed self has been clinging onto.

You now understand on a deeper level that you’re safe and no one is out there to harm you. You’ve just been harming yourself and keeping yourself in a toxic loop because that’s where your ego wants you to be. You’re at peace with yourself and you’ve let go of your rusty anchor. So, letting go is not about logically doing it, it’s about dropping the past and just being.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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